Raging 8th Nerve

Standing Tall?

2012-01-09T19:58:00.000-05:00

Bluffing! I've been faking it a bit too much, lately. Some ppl i just cannot hear no matter what. So I nod my head as if I understand them. What can I do if the speakers refuse or repeatedly 'forget' how to best communicate with me? It wears me down.

There is one person, Bobby, he is just too tall. His voice booms overhead, and it is impossible to lipread him. And his eyes... they're always shifty. False body language!

Hmmm... false body language?

That's a new one... he's gone FBL on me!

3... 2... 1...

2012-01-01T08:17:00.000-05:00

Zoom...

2011-12-15T20:17:00.001-05:00

Parking lots scare me, especially at night. It isn't crime that frightens me. It's the wacko drivers. Twice tonight I almost got hit.

Not my vehicle.

Me!!!

The first incident was outside of work. Someone backing out of a parking spot while yakking away on their cell. Backing up requires you to turn your head and look over your right shoulder. But no, this person has their head bent to the left, holding the cellphone in place. And backs out turning toward the driver's right.

The second "close encounters of a squished kind" happened at a grocer store parking lot. Some ppl have to cut across parking spots, rather than drive up and down a lane. This idiot sped around my vehicle as I open the door to get in, not out. I do stand upright, as opposed to all fours! Missed me by inches. And I never heard this vehicle approaching.

Am I going to the mall for xmas shopping?

Noooooo!!!

Today we had our Christmas luncheon at work, buffet style. I got a bit disoriented as I filled my plate. Not dizzy, just kind of like tunnel vision. Normally I have lunch in a smaller breakroom. The luncheon was in the larger cafeteria, with more ppl and much more noise. My hearing aid volume was turned up too loud, but I didn't realize the extra noise was distracting my attention and focus. All I needed to do was turn down the volume. Gotta remember that next time.

No posts lately, cuz I've kinda been depressed.

It'll go away.

I'm For It...

2011-11-23T20:04:00.001-05:00

Actually, on Thanksgiving Day, my lil' bro and I will round 'em up and then 'interrogate' the pies. Any suspicious pies will be sent to the pie-hole for further investigation. And if they are really good pies, they will be forwarded to the early release program! This ensures plenty of space for those dangerous late-night suspects.

Enjoy!

Missing Time?

2011-11-11T19:08:00.001-05:00

Or alien abduction?

On the drive to work this morning, it happened! The last thing I remembered was driving through the 'can of worms' on the expressway. Next thing I know, I'm a half-mile from work. I couldn't recall any details in between the 2 locations. This means I exited the expressway, then drove through 7 intersections, all with traffic lights, and can't remember anything. Did I drive through any red-lights?

I would prefer an alien abduction, rather than blindly driving 5 miles.

When I was a kid, I actually believed we would all be flying to work by now, like George Jetson. We could GPS ourselves to work and back.

Next subject: stress.

Dunno why, but when I hit the lights, rollover to go to sleep, my hands are always balled into a tight fist. Happens every night. I can't fall asleep until I remember to relax my hands. Ah now, I know what yer thinking. This has nothing to do with THAT!

Stress from hearing loss can be an all-day event where I am always on edge watching for the next speaker, the next sound, constantly on the alert. It's as if I have to mentally turn a switch off at bedtime.

Don't worry, be happy.

That &%$# Bleeping Fox

2011-11-07T19:45:00.000-05:00

Shadow those lips!!! Last Fridays Kitchen Nightmares show on Fox TV with Chef Ramsay was loaded with expletives, aka f-bombs. Not only do they bleep out the cuss words, but they also blur the lips with the intention of preventive those of us with hearing loss from lipreading.

Silly Fox... it's quite difficult to lipread tv programs, especially on reality shows when the speaker faces away from the camera.

But those &^%$ bleeps are the same sound my hearing aid uses to signal a low battery warning. Drives me #%$^& nuts.

I am so Sirius!

2011-10-24T18:55:00.001-05:00

Seems like when it comes to music I have missed the beat most of my life. That is, until I got Sirius. SiriusXM satillite radio!

In my early days as a mop-head teen, I could follow a tune, but not the lyrics. Well, sometimes I could pick out a few words, but then guess at the rest. Or I would guess at the lyrics, but be totally wrong. Of course, this was the days of transister radios, along with hi-fi stereos, and tape decks.

My friends would ask me what bands I liked, but I couldn't truthfully answer, nor participate in the conversations. As a teenager, that kinda sucked. And going to concerts was out. My parents were afraid the massive amps would blowout the rest of my hearing. Probably woulda cleared the earwax, though!

But radio listening was key, and I couldn't decipher what the DJ was saying. The name of the band? The song title? My hearing-aids just couldn't tune in those facts over the airwaves. So when it came to purchasing albums or tapes or cd's, I didn't know what to look for.

With Sirius in my car, I can read the dashboards radio screen, which provides both the artist and title.

At the same time, it's kinda sad that I had no clue what all these songs were about, since music is a way for identifying your personality and ever changing moods.

But now I've finally gotten Sirius, and I'm spinning wheels!!!

Diversity

2011-10-09T17:26:00.000-05:00

Really nice weekend here. Pic is from out on the pier looking back.

Diversity. Future sherpa?

I see groups of ppl wearing Nepal t-shirts every weekend. They often tie their sweatshirts as in the pic, rather than around their waist. These ppl are a long way from home, the Roof of the World.

Regardless of how ppl are different, diversity is cool.

So Why Didn't I Do It?

2011-09-30T20:21:00.000-05:00

I recently read the bullying experiences of Phil on Biophobia: First Year Second Year

When I was in Junior High 7th grade some school officials had decided I didn't belong in their school. It took a threat of litigation to change their minds. But what if the school admin had gotten their way?

I would have spent the week away from home at a deaf school as a boarder, kinda like Phil, but allowed back home for the weekends. Since I knew no sign language at the time, it would have been a miserable start, forced into an environment totally foreign to me. Although I imagine after awhile I would have caught on and made new friends.

Anyhow, in public school, I did endure more than my share of bullying (go to sidebar). And I can understand kids feeling suicidal at the hand of their tormentors. After repeated incidents, I started believing maybe the bullies were right, I was worthless.

I never shared with my family any of the bullying incidents. My mom would worry too much, so I kept quiet. It was as if I was protecting her from the pain. Eventually, my secrets took it's toll. I had these stupid thoughts, if I walked in front of a car, it would look like an accident. The kid didn't hear it coming!

So why didn't I do it?

Inside of me, as deep as the mental anguish can rot, was an equal desire to excel, despite all the odds against me. To prove the bullies wrong, to reach beyond the expectations, the isolation. When you set yourself on this path, paid in blood, sweat and tears, good things will happen.

Choose life!

Me... Just a Pack of Neurons

2011-09-18T08:45:00.000-05:00

An online friend, Justin, has suggested I learn about psychology from this Yale course available on the web. From time-to-time I will be posting about facts of interest, many of which I hope can be tied into hearing loss.

Chapter 1- The brain, the Mind and Dualism

This chapter mostly lays background for understanding of later discussions. Dualism basically says the mind and brain are separate, or the physical body is separate from the mind.

However, dualism is mostly rejected scientifically. For example, a tap on the knee results in a leg kick. No mind, nor thinking needed for this reaction.

I figure most of us would accept dualism. After all, it makes sense spiritually.

With my hearing loss, I am a very deep sleeper, especially when I was a youngster. While sleeping, I would have these very vivid dream-like states often referred to as ‘out-of body’ experiences. (read more Mind Grip)

Basically, I would travel long distances to my past, and some dramatic event would happen, as in my Mind Grip post. Anyhow, there comes a time to wake-up, similar to awakening from a nightmare, but I can’t because my spirit hasn’t yet returned to my body from LaLa-land.

As my spiritit zooms into my bedroom, and I struggle for consciousness. My Spirit watches and waits. During the next few minutes, my body’s arms try to reach up, my legs attempt to kick, and I want to sit upright, but I can’t. I’m a frozen stiff. Only when I relax, can my spirit re-enters my body, then finally, I break the grip, the mind grip.

(((Yawn)))

Just a pack of neurons... doing their thang.

2011-09-10T20:53:00.002-05:00

2011-08-25T20:43:00.001-05:00

Youth and Counseling

I was 16 years-old at the time. It was unusual for both of my parents to accompany me to a hearing test. After completing the test, I was seated in the waiting room, while my parents met in conference with the audiologist. 20 minutes later, I was called into the meeting with all three.

The audiologist informed me that instead of one hearing-aid, I now needed two. Bursting into tears, I shouted, “No way, I’m freaky enough with one. I’ll not wear two!”

And I got my way.

This outburst clearly signaled all was not well with me. If ever there was a time for counseling, this was it. But there was no attempt to address my frustrations and attitude; not from the audiologist, nor from my parents.

As a teenager who was hearing-impaired most all of my life, my mind would automatically substitute words for the ones I didn’t hear. It was very confusing whenever I realized my information was wrong. I hated everything about who I was, what I had become. And I would not let on how much it bothered me. Thus, the frustration festered to the point... I wanted out.

I can’t imagine how different life could have been with counseling help as a teenager.

In summation, all you Mom's and Dad's out there, with hearing-loss, the stress weighs heavily. No matter what age one loses hearing, we all can benefit from counseling.

2011-08-19T20:58:00.000-05:00

Youth

I witnessed a kid with a CI this week. He was maybe 4 years-old. I was at the port on the long pier. And... well... this kid was just bouncing all over the pier, back and forth, like Lewis and Clark, on a mission of discovery .

Watching him really took me back, since I was 6 years-old when I was fitted with my first hearing-aid, a bulky body-aid strapped to my chest.

As the boy hopped around, his parents were constantly checking his aids. So, I have no doubt something new was happening. Maybe an upgrade, maybe mapping. Anyhow, the boy was full of enthusiasm, checking out the gulls, the ducks, motorboats, sailboats, and people. It was as if he was experiencing freedom for the first time. Needless to say, my eyes welled up.

I wished I could have talked to his Mom.

I would have said to watchout when her boy becomes a teen. He will probably stop sharing his frustrations with her. Why? Because he won't want her worrying so much about him. And his hearing mistakes might feel too embarrassing for sharing.

And I would advise any parent of a hearing loss teen to get their child counseling. Find a counselor who is connected some way to hearing loss. For example, my counselor's wife was deaf. My own counseling was as an adult, not as a teen. I felt it was a real loss for me not to benefit from counseling as a teen.

In my next post I will explain more.

2011-07-31T20:31:00.000-05:00

Summer scenes 2011....

The Trek

Impala

Skater

Beach volleyball

Par-tahhh!!!

Get a grip!!!

Beach wrestling

Form...10!!!

Young sailors

Arrrggghhh!!!

2011-07-16T20:04:00.001-05:00

News and the Real Facts....?

This just in... cuz I got nothing better to do....

A black bear bite a sleeping boy inside his tent, then was driven off by other campers. Not just any camp, this was a large gathering of bow-hunting enthusiasts.

Hmmm... shoes on the other foot, er...paw?

Anyhow, they tracked the bear down, this in a state with 12,000 other suspect bears. No known grizzlies or brown bears reside in the state. Now here's where the story puzzles me:

"At the end of the trail, they discovered a 200-pound bear that matched the description of the one involved in the early morning attack. It was shot and killed."

Exactly how do you describe one bear from another? A bear stealing in the dark of night, a bear that sneak attacked a cooler left outside, then snacked on a kids leg? I mean, was this a bear wearing a green hat and tie? Maybe carrying a picnic basket, too? A sidekick, perhaps?

Sorry kid, I just couldn't help myself, hope you get well soon.

BooBoo

2011-07-05T19:41:00.000-05:00

A Jumper

This pier stretches maybe a quarter mile out into the lake. On Saturday, as I reached the end of the pier and snapped this photo, the police on bikes arrived. A fisherman explained to me, a young women had jumped into the lake from the end of the pier.

As I could see, she was fully dressed and soaked , including her leather shoes. It was obvious... she tried to end her life. The shoes were the big clue. The fisherman continued to tell me, she didn't sink, so she climbed back out, up a ladder, then laid flat on the pavement, not speaking nor answering to anyone. She was alone, no friends or kin present.

So, why didn't she sink? Not to make fun of her, but she was wearing long nylon cargo pants. Apparently, air trapped in the large nylon pockets kept her afloat long enough to change her mind and climb out of the water.

The bystanders didn't realize what was happening, since it is not uncommon for someone to take a dip, but it is prohibited, and illegal. The police took her away. Some place to get her help.

About a year ago Memorial Day, a young man, age 20, accidentally drowned in the exact same spot. His named is spelled out in the photo, on the light structure just below the red section.

It's kinda of eerie, one life lost, then one life spared.

2011-06-23T20:19:00.002-05:00

Are You A Mystic?

Several years ago my youngest brother sent me this link to Mind Media to take the right or left brain personality test. I was game. (The MindMedia link can be found at end of post)

I have always had this strong belief that because I grew up hearing-impaired, I developed differently in thought-processing. I easily read body language, anticipate actions and reactions, and quickly compute possible scenarios. I don’t force myself to think about these scenarios. It just mentally happens at a super speed.

Like street-smarts, I can walk down a city block and pick out good guys from bad guys. I can tell when someone is lying to me, and I will often play along. It’s an advantage to know how the liar thinks, and how far they will go to convince me.

So I took the test. What little did we know beforehand. Hehehee...

The results:

You show a slight right- hemisphere dominance with a moderate preference for auditory processing, an unusual and somewhat paradoxical combination of characteristics.

You are drawn to a random and sometimes nonchalant synthesis of material. You learn as it seems important to a specific situation, and might even develop a resentment of others who attempt to direct your learning down a specific channel.

Your right-hemispheric dominance provides a structure that is only loosely organized and one which processes entire swatches of reality, overlooking details. You are emotional in your reactions and perceptual more than logical in your approach, although you can impose structure and a language base when necessary.

Your auditory preference, on the other hand, implies that you process information sequentially and uni-dimensionally. This combination of right-brain and auditory modes create conflict, as you want to process data more rapidly than your natural processes allow.

Your tendency to be creative and free-flowing is accompanied by sufficient ability to organize and be logical, allowing you a reasonable degree of success in a number of different endeavors. You take in information methodically and systematically which than can be synthesized rapidly. In this manner, you manage to function consistently well, although certainly less efficiently than you desire.

You prefer the abstract and are a theoretician at heart while retaining the ability to be practical. You find the symbolism in a great deal of what you encounter and are something of a “mystic.”

With regards to your lifestyle, you have the mentality which would be good as a philosopher, writer, journalist, or instructor, or possibly as a systems designer or social worker. Perhaps most important is your ability to “listen to your inner voice” as a mode of skipping over unnecessary steps to achieve your goals.

I do think outside-the-box, summing up scenarios, then reaching conclusions from a different angle. It’s difficult to verbally justify my decisions, but I jus happen to get from point A to point B from a different direction.

Take the test.

They ask for email addy, but it isn’t necessary to take the test.
Skip the email part. Scroll down to the name box.
Choose a nickname and hit enter. Again, don’t enter your email.
Scroll down to ‘continue.’
Scroll past email and begin the test. You must scroll down for each question.

At the end of the test, don’t forget to get the results. (MindMedia link)

2011-06-09T20:28:00.000-05:00

Diggin' Deep

Warning: Don't try this at home. Q-tips are forbidden.

With the current heatwave, returneth the itch! You know, sweaty earmolds buried deep into the cavity, squishing, splish splashing around in a mass of hot wax... earwax. God's gift would be a Q-tip with the tip bent, twirling around the cavity wall, slurping up all that excess wax. Just yummy!

Ear itch relief most definitely ranks up there with steamin' hawt, rolling in hawg heaven sex!!!

* * *

So, this weeks joke:

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays it's original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.
No wonder men are happier.
Send this to the women who can handle it and to the men who will enjoy
reading it.

2011-05-23T19:12:00.000-05:00

Dumbing Down

My hearing test results from last Friday were similar to the previous tests 2 years ago. However, I was told that my 2 year-old Unitron bicros-aids are not performing properly; that all 3 programs sounded garbled.

Huh?

$250 to have them sent in for repairs. (Actually, just one gets repaired.)

Huh, again? I say.

So, the audie leaves, returns 10 minutes later, says she cleaned the microphones off, now they don't sound so bad.

Well, ye-a-a-ah.

Then she says I need new hearing-aids.

I give her the evil-eye, "How much?"

"Oh, three thousand dollars."

I'm telling ya, the Audiology profession is dumbing down. The speech recognition test was given at a way too loud volume. Useless! The new air-tube between the earmold and earhook was set too far into the earmold. 2 year-old hearing-aids are no good??? She had no idea what was in my file. Probably never reviewed it. Didn't even understand what each program on my hearing-aid was set up to do. I won't even mention the software.

This isn't about an audie trying to sell hearing-aids. It's about an audie lacking basic knowledge of hearing-aids.

* * *

Oh well, this weeks funny:

Actual things said in court!

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, "isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
______________________________ ______

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about 20, medium height, and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
______________________________ _______

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
______________________________ ___________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And, Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________ ________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No .
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

2011-05-19T19:15:00.000-05:00

Raise Your Hand Time

Friday is hearing test day for me. I'm sure to flat-line the left ear. The word discrimination test somewhat worries me, but they always use similar word lists. You would think someone could come up with new words after 50 years, but nooooo....

Only real problem I'm having hearing-health is itching ears, and the TV sounds blend too much, so I've taken a liking to wireless headphones. I also need a cell phone, so I will ask the audie what to expect matching a phone to this type of hearing-aid. Since it is a bi-cross aid, I expect trouble blocking out buzzing noise from the phone and wifi.

Joke time:

College Grads

A graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

A graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

A graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much it cost?"

A graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

2011-05-11T19:09:00.000-05:00

Dream On...

For many years I've had this bad dream over and over. The setting changes, but the message is always the same, I don't belong. Simple psychoanalysis... a lack of confidence, self-esteem, insecurity. Unable to break barriers between myself and others?

Dunno exactly, so anyhow, here is the dream:

Sometimes the setting is a place I worked for many years, a meat packinghouse. I've been away on sick leave. When I return to work, eager to get started, no one will speak to me. The same supervisors are there, but oddly, my fellow employees have all been replaced by temps, working for less pay. I'm not welcome back. Nobody tells me why.I just stand around and watch.

Other times, the setting is way back in high school. I was an outstanding football player, defensive end. I wasn't as big as other players, only weighed 145 pounds. But I played blood, sweat and tears, left it all on the field. In the dream I get hurt, take time off to mend. When I return, it's a different year, the juniors are now seniors. Again no one speaks to me, it's mentally uncomfortable, I don't belong, don't fit in. Kinda like being shunned.

So, why do I bring this up? Last night I had this same dream again. But this time it ended different. This time I was welcomed back, and encouraged to pick up where I left off on the football team; my football team, my senior year.

So, why after all these years, the dream changes? This be even more nerve wrenching!

Has my confidence turned a corner?

Or am I about to meet my maker?

Lotto?

What gives?

* * *

This weeks joke:

My 1 day employment

So after landing my new job as a Wal-Mart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day....

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or stupid?'

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, I just couldn't believe someone slept with you twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

2011-05-03T20:13:00.000-05:00

OBL

I'm glad this idiot is dead. I don't celebrate, nor dance in the streets. Well, maybe when 4th of July rolls around, that's when I want to savor the moment. Jus kinda sit back and soak it all up. I didn't find out the news until morning, as I went to bed only 5 minutes before the news hit the net. 6AM I got on the pc to find out how my team, the Mets, did the previous night, as they were the late espn game. OBL's death was in that baseball story.

Thank you, S.E.A.L.s and all the rest.

2011-05-01T16:35:00.001-05:00

Spinning Kites!

A sure sign spring has sprung!!! Kite Day at the Beach!!!

Hearing-aids not required.
Batteries neither.

Always a charlie brown one.... Arghhh!!!

2011-04-20T20:57:00.000-05:00

Loud Storm

Much ponding on the xpressways going in to work this A.M. Looked like speedboats with rooster-tails in their wake. Only after I got to work did I learn there had been a huge thunderstorm in the early hours. I slept soundly, didn't hear a thing. My advantage, I guess.

Not much to blog about, what with little to no feedback on my posts. I will have a few more stories to add to the collection in the right column.

Their is still some ice on the coves:

And now a joke:

Lipstick in Catholic School

According to a news report, a certain private Catholic school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal, Sister Paschal, decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Paschal asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers.... and then there are educators.

2011-03-16T19:44:00.000-05:00

Get Green!

IRISH GAS STATION

Taking a wee break from the golf course,

Tiger Woods drives his new Mercedes into an Irish gas station.
An attendant greets him in typical Irish manner,

( unaware who the golf pro is )..."Top o' the mornin' to ya."
As Tiger gets out of the car, two tees fall out of his pocket.

"So, what are those things, laddie?" asks the attendant.
"They're called tees," replies Tiger.

"And what would ya be usin 'em for, now?" inquires the Irishman.
"Well, they're for resting my balls on when I drive," replies Tiger.

"Aw, Jaysus, Mary an' Joseph!" exclaims the Irish attendant.
"Those fellas at Mercedes think of everything."

2011-03-15T20:49:00.000-05:00

Japan Angle

The nuclear spin. I've had the impression the Japanese nuke employees are intimidated by the fear of failure. It's as if, to fail is to bring shame to yourself, your family and employer. And so, much like BP with their oil disaster, the nuke people are not sharing the truths, or they are hiding the facts.

To fail, is to learn.

2011-02-06T17:43:00.000-05:00

Super

A few NFL players and Sharkey are helping bring the need for hearing-aids to the forefront: (See here) including Adrian Peterson, Larry Fitzgerald, and Roy Williams. Hearing-aid users have always needed a spokesperson to bring attention to the stigma of hearing loss. Along with the Walk4Hearing fundraisers and awareness events, perhaps real progress can now be made.

* * *

Last weeks 'monster' snowstorm was kind of a wuss here; only dumped 8 inches of snow. Add four more inches from last night. After clearing the driveway, I raked the roof. There is already thick heavy ice in the rain gutters and on the eaves. Cross my fingers and toes!

2011-02-01T19:29:00.000-05:00

Monster Snowstorm Eve

All day long at work, the excitement of the coming storm made it feel like a Friday. Of course, the HR department put out an email explaining how our dear clients expect us to show up for work regardless of the storm.

No matter how dead I am, my company expects me to weather the storm and be at work on time.

When I go out in the morning, if it is just snow, then I will fire up the snowblower (at 5AM, sorry neighbor) and clear the driveway, then trek to work. However, if I find thick ice, forget it; back to bed!

Not much else going on. A funny:

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:

Men Are Just Happier People-

What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays it's original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25
minutes.
No wonder men are happier.

2011-01-21T20:34:00.000-05:00

Abuse

A few days ago this story about deaf/hard of hearing kids experiencing abuse, ran in the D&C. A poll shows that 77% of deaf/hoh kids experienced some kind of abuse before age 16, compared to 49% of hearing kids.

The researcher was surprised to find such a high percentage of abuse for deaf/hoh.

In my own experiences and opinion, I think this percentage is too low. And I would guess many deaf/hoh kids experienced multiple incidents. For myself there are 2 incidents that stick out like a sore thumb. One time when the gym teacher slapped my head from behind (read here) , and the name calling - gang fight/bullies (read here).

Furthermore, from the article: "The study also found that among students who were maltreated, those who were deaf or hard of hearing had more negative views and showed more signs of post-traumatic stress disorder."

The mistreatment doesn't stop with age. The negative views and stress continue to be re-enforced with each new incident.

I wonder what other deaf/hoh people think?

2011-01-12T22:14:00.001-05:00

Cold Feet

Birthday eve. Not so good. Got up this morning, brrr.... bare feet on a cold floor. The ignitor on the furnace broke. But the service was quick, bit expensive, tho.

One thing, whenever I'm in the basement, I can't distinguish sounds from the furnace, water heater, clothes washer or dryer. They all sound alike to me, and I can't tell from which direction sound comes from. So, if something sounds odd, I have to rest my hand on the appliance, checking for a vibration.

Snowstorm isn't too bad. Gonna end up with maybe 12-14 inches of snow. The a.m. commute was slow tho. Took 1 hour to travel 10 miles, bumper-to-bumper.

2010-12-19T11:24:00.001-05:00

Water!

After washing my hands at the bathroom sink, i thought i shut the water off. However, I only turned the hot off, while the cold was turned on a trickle. Since that drain is somewhat slow, 30 minutes later, the bathroom floor was flooded.

Sucks that i couldn't hear that trickle of water. Unfortunately, that is the price you pay with hearing loss. Now I will be worried every time i leave the house. Is the water off?

A foto from yesterdays trek to the lake:

Ice formation. See the lion's head?

2010-12-18T09:01:00.000-05:00

A Joke...

...from my Christmas mailbox:

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

2010-12-15T17:00:00.000-05:00

Perpetual Snow

This much snow for 3 days straight. It's like living inside a snow globe. And then winter starts, yes, starts, next week. I nominate snowblowers as the best thing since sliced bread!

When outside in cold temperatures, keep hearing-aids covered and warm. Moisture inside the aid can expand, cracking the casing.

Cold weather tip: as a defogger, wipe your eye glasses with shaving cream, rinse off, and dry.

Works great!!!

2010-12-13T15:26:00.001-05:00

Calm Before The Storm

Burning up my vacation time this week. Meanwhile, it is brutally cold outside.(see pics below) So, I am just getting xmas shopping done, plus I renewed my driver's license at the local NY-DMV. The DMV has a nice set-up for the hearing impaired and everyone else, as well. I'm issued a print-out number, then have to watch a large overhead screen for my number to pop up, and which numbered clerk to approach. And all the DMV workers seemed knowledgeable helping deaf and hearing-impaired people.

Every year someone places a wreath at IQ Bay. Maybe for a loved one who drowned here? Notice the swans in the background? Can't see it, but the coves are covered in ice.

Blustery day looking south at the Bay Bridge. 12*F with windchill at -6*F.(-21*C)

2010-11-26T22:00:00.001-05:00

Desolate

Lonely

Rundown

another era?

Angry

Fenced out

Empty

Picnic table orgy?

Fotos from the hood; cold blustery day.

2010-11-13T20:39:00.001-05:00

Secret. Don't Tell!

Was hoping to post some good news, but... umm... well, it didn't quite pan out.

Ya see, I was suppose to get a promotion, with a wage increase, in my paycheck this week. But someone in HR screwed up. Least, that is what I was told.

The promotion and raise, it is suppose to be a secret. Sounds screwy, yes? Well, it is the pay raise. Even though I deserve the raise, the company "powers-that-be" don't want to piss off other employees. Stupid, really!

Other employees mindset?, "Hmmm... the deaf guy got a raise. Why not me?"

I'm confused, really!

In addition, this week the company bought out another company for over 1 billion bucks. Hmmm... they needed a few spare hundred bucks, maybe? My pay raise? Gee, I feel the weight of the entire conglomerate upon my shoulders! Crunch!!!

Anyhow, it took plenty of blood, sweat, and tears to get myself this 'secret, don't tell anyone' promotion.

I actually changed the jobs responsibilities to match my strengths. I arranged to arrive at work an hour early to set-up jobs for other employees. Then work late to get jobs out on time. Too often people stress multi-tasking. Prioritizing is more important. This was my focus, the skill that sets me apart from others.

As hearing-impaired, I am quite proud of this accomplishment. It's as if I transformed the job to re-invent myself.

For once, I took control.

Now, about that 1 billion bucks....

2010-11-07T21:46:00.000-05:00

Sad

Umm... well... 9:25PM, it kinda feels like my extra hour right now for the 'fall back' thingy. You know as 'gain an hour,' turn the clocks.

Last week I was having all kinds of bad vibes, my mystical side acting up. I get these strong feelings that something is wrong or bad events are on the horizon. Makes me somewhat depressed, worried, and tense, not knowing which shoe is about to drop.

Saturday night it hit me, like a ton of bricks. I have a habit of reading the newspaper before bedtime. There in the obit was listed a former co-workers 22 year-old son. This co-worker once saved my life. Some bloggers will know who I'm talking about, but I can't really explain. It's deeply personal.

Been weepy all day.

Rest In Peace, Kyle.

2010-11-01T19:07:00.000-05:00

S'long Spooks!

Whew, glad halloween is over. The tiny goblins can't reach the doorbell, so they gently knock on the door. And i can't hear that lightly tapping noise. I was afraid I would miss one of the cute lil' munchkins. Years later when their adolescent hormones transform them into teenage-werewolves, they remember those shortcomings, then seek revenge, egging the house.

Meanwhile, it's been a rough few months working 6 days per week. With barely enough time to keep up the chores. After a 10 hour workday, I manage to mow the leaves into the grass-catcher bag. The floodlight helps.

I've been very tired, worn out, and stressed. I'm too drained to argue any issues that come up. Maybe that is a good thing, huh?

2010-10-17T17:30:00.001-05:00

Good or Bad?

I'd be a very different person had I not lived with a disability. Is that good or bad? I asked this question on Justin's blog.

Hmmm... well to begin, I would prolly be married, have kids, then divorced, and be living penniless in some shack on the edge of town. No?

No, but i’d definitely have a much better education and career. I’d be able to participate in conversations. Maybe even speak in front of crowds. A leader, no doubt. Military?

So yes, it would have been nice to grow up and live a life without hearing loss. But it doesn’t really bother me. I’ve experienced bullies as a teen and adult, discrimination in the job market, and suppression from all sorts. There are many people who just do not believe a person with a disability could possibly be their equal.

But I have also experienced the flip side, the heroes willing to help me move forward and keep a positive attitude. As well as those who go the extra mile to be inclusive, and help me hear. Those heroes understand that it takes just a bit more effort to communicate with me.

The emotions swing unexpectedly like a rollercoaster in the dark. Every day is a challenge, a storm to be weathered. But the ability to survive, to persevere, is what makes it all worthwhile.

I never asked for this exciting adventure.

It chose me.

2010-10-10T16:09:00.000-05:00

Quiet, please?

Not much news. Just some high-pitch micro-bursts(?) in my ear. Pulsating, actually, and sometimes the sound is cutting out. Think it is only moisture, but it seems weird. The aids are dry, so it has to be moisture between the hearing-aid earmold and my eardrum. Unless I am totally wrong, as it could be an inner ear thingy.

Some pics from todays hike:

I spied on them...

Castle wall, teen gives it perspective.

From top of the wall overlooking LO.

Stars close-up, not sure what these are. Anybody?

2010-10-03T14:11:00.000-05:00

Crisis Mode

After a rash of young gay suicide incidents around our country these past few weeks, I would like to point out some similarities between hearing aid users and the LGBT mindset. Comparing apples to oranges? No, i don't think so...

Many hard-of-hearing people try to hide their hearing loss, much akin to 'staying in the closet.' As a teen I would hide my hearing aid under a mop of long hair. I didn't even know how to explain my hearing situation, nor have the courage to seek help. It was my own painful secret.

Then there is the fear of 'being different.' It's like wearing a target on your back for all the world's bullies to notice. So, I would pretend, otherwise known as 'faking it.' Just go with the flow, nod my head as if to understand, even though I didn't quite hear. But the bullies would eventually sniff me out, hunt me down, then devour me. It wasn't until I proved myself in sports, they stopped.

So, like today's young gays, as a hard-of-hearing teen I would try to hide who i was, trusting few friends, if any, with personal problems. In denial and with no emotional outlet, suicide always seemed like an option. Luckily, I had a few superheroes from my hospital stay (read stories on the right sidebar). Sometimes, it doesn't take much to rescue someone; a word of encouragement, a pat on the shoulder, even a bright smile.

Please do what you can to stop the hate, stop the bullies. And if you know someone who is gay, or with a disability, offer your hand in friendship. You won't regret it, for you will have made the most loyal friend ever.

2010-09-25T22:10:00.000-05:00

Where'd he go?

A fellow co-worker joked, "Jimmy, wouldn't it be cool if you could become invisible whenever you turn off your hearing aid?"

To which I sarcastically replied, "Switched on or off, I always feel like I'm invisible."

* * *

This weeks joke is back:

One day an old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long,
discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks,
'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!'
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down
to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the
panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,
'Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more
around here?'

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of
terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
'Whew!' says the panther, 'That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly
had me!'

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby
tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for
protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and
strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here,
squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving
canine!

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on
his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running,
the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't
seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German
Shepherd says...
'Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another
panther!

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth
and treachery!
Brilliance only comes with age and experience.

2010-09-23T19:26:00.000-05:00

Even in confession?

Video

CNN report:

"Steven Geier and Carl Nelson were also deaf students who say Father Murphy sexually assaulted them repeatedly. They say Father Murphy would prowl the dorm at night, visiting boys in their beds, raping and sexually assaulting them. He would also routinely assault and molest his victims in one of the church’s most sacred places – the confessional – church documents show. "

“This is the story of a man raping and assaulting 200 deaf children,” he says. “To think that there are all these children being raped -– these disabled deaf children - who can’t even scream out, can’t speak out. It’s monstrous.”

* * *

Made aware of the horrendous assaults, cardinal Ratzinger, now the pope, did nothing to help the deaf. He only tried to hide it. By hiding the crime, he enabled it to continue. Ratzinger should be punished. He is definitely not 'pope material.'

The boys complained to the police, but nothing was done. The same boys were returned to Murphy. Imagine the horror.

Having hearing loss has always made it difficult for me to trust people. I think this story goes to the extreme to demonstrate why.

What do you think?

2010-09-13T20:52:00.000-05:00

Why? I dunno.

It gets tiring while constantly struggling to keep up with everyone else. How many times these past few weeks have I faked my way through a conversation? screwed up information? dodged oncoming cars? distanced myself from people?

On top of all that, I've been thinking about Billy. How I unknowingly betrayed him, Just because I can't hear good. It's been 6 years since he died. I still can't forgive myself.

2010-09-05T16:15:00.000-05:00

Spontaneous

Oftentimes, I go up to the port for walks, and then some people watching. It is interesting, all the different events and the diversity of people; beach volleyball, wrestling, musical bands, families and students from all walks of life.

Today as I sat on the concrete wall watching life pass bye, a stranger stopped to express his views to me. No matter how hard I strained to understand what he was saying, I couldn't hear him clearly enough to pick up even one word, one clue. So I went along, nodding my head in agreement.

Faking it... is not something I'm proud of, but even though I know better, I still pretend to understand spontaneous conversation. And this behavior is why I fail at relationships. It gnaws at my self-esteem, leading to withdrawal from the very people I would desire as friends.

It's like a jail sentence. And I got 'life.'

2010-09-03T15:30:00.000-05:00

Sustained 80 mph

I recently vacationed on Cape Cod. Thought I would post more fotos from atop Pilgrim Tower in Provincetown. It illustrates the low lying land. Cape Cod has a date with Hurricane Earl tonight. My blogging friend Justin and family will tough it out, as well. Although the hurricane is diminishing, sustained 80 mph winds is nothing to take lightly. I've been in 90 mph downdrafts. It was a bit scary.

Also:

This is the capes most important structure.

Survivor food! Without it, nothing functions!!!!

2010-09-02T20:59:00.000-05:00

Heated Eardrums

Through blood, sweat and tears, this summer heat has been frying times for this hearing-aid user. My soft earmolds fit snug and tight. 90*F temperatures combined with high humidity causes my ears to itch; all the extra moisture. It's all squishy washy in my ear canals. And now I'm digging my pinky in there, as well. Q-tips twirling around (don't try this at home!!!) trying to soak up the dampness.

Nothing works. I may have to take desperate measures. Go all nakey... sans hearing-aids.

2010-08-19T21:13:00.000-05:00

1 in 5 Teens

Every now 'n then the news media has an important article. Hey, here's one on teen hearing loss!

Excerpt 1: The number of U.S. teenagers experiencing hearing loss increased about 30 percent from 1988 to 2006, so that one in five teens now has lost some hearing, researchers report.

Excerpt 2: the loss can probably be "traced back to lifestyle and habits, and for the most part, it's very likely associated with the increased use of portable MP3 devices

Excerpt 3: Among the first group of teens, 14.9 percent had some hearing loss in at least one ear. However, among teens in the more recent study, that number had jumped to 19.5 percent, representing about 6.5 million adolescents -- an increase of 31 percent, the researchers found.

Most of the hearing loss was slight and probably would not be noticed by the teens. In addition, in 2005-2006 most of the hearing loss was confined to the high frequencies (16.4 percent). Only 9 percent of the teens had low-frequency hearing loss.

Personally, I have no useful hearing in the high frequency range. For you youngsters out there, this kind of hearing loss means you will have trouble hearing sounds such as coins or change dropping in a vending machine, engine ping, or a friend's whisper. In a more severe case, you might not hear a high pitched home fire alarm, especially while sleeping.

This site has an excellent virtual exhibit, demos of hearing loss.

MP3 players themselves aren't the culprit. The real damage comes from placing earbuds right at the eardrum, loudly blasting . One of the early signs of hearing loss is tinnitus, ear ringing.

Do yourself a favor, turn it down!

2010-08-03T21:02:00.001-05:00

Why The Shame?

Now and then I catch a person staring at my hearing aids. Soon as I see 'em, they look away, as if they were ashamed of something. But what are they ashamed of? I wish someone would explain.

They might be embarrassed for staring, but I get that feeling there is more deeper emotions at work. The burden to communicate falls on both the hearing person and the hard-of-hearing (hoh) person. Many of these hearing people don't want to be bothered by that extra effort, or they are afraid to try for fear of failure.

I can read the body language(one of my mystical powers): "Oh gawd, he didn't hear me. What am I gonna do next? I feel soooo embarrassed."

Everyone knows someone who wears glasses, but not everyone knows a person who wears hearing aids or a CI. Next time I'm in the checkout line at the grocery store, I turn and catch ya staring, try putting your hand out and introducing yourself or just say 'hi.'

I won't bite yer head off.

Promise!!!

Moving on, by now you should be aware of the Arizona immigration issue? Hmmm? If I can be a bit sarcastic, 3 white guys escaped from jail the past week. Note, that's 3 white guys, not 3 Mexicans. Three... white... murderers, not three Mexican murderers. And these 3 white murderers escaped from a medium security prison. Yup, that's right, medium security prison. Which leaves one to ponder, exactly how does one qualify for a maximum security prison in Arizona?

Now for my vacation pics, whales! On the way out, one lil kid wondered if he could ride ,em!!! hehe!!! It's was a beautiful experience and I will never forget this day.

Open wide!!!

Hey, i finally got me some tail !!!

Magnificent!!!

2010-07-30T22:17:00.002-05:00

Provincetown Exploration

The beauty of Provincetown isn't in the photos I'm gonna post. No. The beauty of Provincetown is it's diversity. If guys can walk down the street hand-in-hand without hassle, then chances are pretty good that someone with 2 hearing-aids isn't gonna be picked on either.

Provincetown isn't a vacation. It's an experience! The community, the food, the scenery, the music, the street shops, the sailing, the fishing, the whale watch, the bars and restaurants.

I spent 5 days on Cape Cod with family. We stayed in a cottage at Harwich Port. Spent time in Hyannis, Chatham, Truro, and one day in Provincetown, including the whale watch trip. All these photos were re-sized and shot with my inexpensive Nikon CoolPix L1 camera with only 6.2 megapixels.

Provincetown. Pilgrim Monument.

Looks like a quiet little town, huh?

Crown of Pilgrim Monument.

I couldn't quite hear, but think this is Wood End Lighthouse.

One of my best pics, I think!

Provincetown view from top of Pilgrim Monument.

You can see the curve of the earth? Cool !!!

Again from atop Pilgrim Monument.

Inside the monument looking down the stairwell. Yikes!!!

Streets and shops of Provincetown.

That's enough for today. Watch for my next blog, posting whale pics!

2010-07-19T20:02:00.000-05:00

Inspirations

I meant to blog this a few weeks ago. It's one of those rare feel good moments in my roller coaster life.

Normally I refuse invitations to big loud noisy parties. But this was from a family I have been close to all my life. Their folks are getting on in years. There might not be many more excuses to get together. And it's a 3 hour drive from where I currently reside, back to my hometown. I don't think anyone actually expected me to make the long trip, as more than a few jaws hit the floor when I made my grand entrance.

Towards the end of the festivities, I was introduced to someone I hadn't seen in 20 years. And yup, I didn't recognize him at first. Bobby was a year younger than me. We played HS football together. I was a 3 year starter on Varsity. His Dad was a coach, and an inspiration to me. Coach Monk would always remind me to keep my hopes up when life was going bad. When you have hearing loss, life tends to get messy a lot.

But what transpired during this party was something I never expected. Bobby was the real leader of his own HS class. He went on to WestPoint and then Special Forces. I'm not sure if I can say which Special Forces. Not sure if I'm even suppose to know that. But its initials are DF.

So Bobby tells me, "when we were in high school, you were an inspiration to me!" He repeated this several times. And not cuz I couldn't hear him. I was in shock.

But man, afterwords I was feeling pretty spiff. It's not every day someone from DF tells me how I was their inspiration. Thanks Bob!

(2010 Beach wrestling champ)

Sports was my vehicle to success, that's why the pic.

2010-07-04T23:41:00.005-05:00

Got Life-Support?

I've spent most of this holiday weekend alone. Well, it's not as if I sat home and moped about it. No.

I've ventured up to the port to stretch my legs. Into the pub for beer and grub. Over to the beach to admire the sights!!! Followed by a backyard chicken bbq. Then watched some awesome fireworks!!!

But, I have come to a realization.

During my weekend adventures, everyone buzzing around me, they are unaware of their surroundings. So many of them are too glued to their communication devices.

Some stumble into walls like zombies. Others deathly grasp their gizmos as life-support systems. Take their toys away, and these techno-junkies are more lost than I am minus my hearing-aids.

DNR !!! Do Not Resuscitate these people.

It has come to a point where I can just ignore everyone. At the grocery store, the boardwalk, the barstool, it's NOT me they are speaking to. No! They're yapping on their cells! I can flip off my hearing-aids, and not fret about communicating. (unless they give me the one-finger-salute)

It's terrific, unrestrictive freedom!

Same as free-balling.

A breeze!!!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

2010-06-21T19:26:00.000-05:00

SCREAMS

cruel affliction, profound hole
darkness moans, alone the soul
silent loudness, quiet blast
lurks the Demon, shadow cast

anvil, hammer, trumpets blare
chain reaction, trembling air
trilling whistles, pounding drums
cranked up volume, rendered mum

a deaf soul seeks no misery
it finds him through anxiety
from sight not sound, reactions come
frustrations tame him, thoughts go numb

twisted tension, rising tide
isolation, boxed inside
crushed emotions, self-esteem
deafened silence....Demon screams

2010-06-18T21:27:00.000-05:00

I wonder how much discrimination a person can experience, and not lose it mentally?

In my school years, kids bullied and teased me. Teachers wanted me kicked out. As an adult, most employers wouldn't hire me, especially in my hometown. I had to relocate some 3 hours away.

Ah well, f*** it!

2010-06-15T18:57:00.003-05:00

It's All In Your Head

I'm suffering big time. Glen Campbell and Rhinestone Cowboy has been playing over and over in my head for 3 days now.

"I've been walkin' these streets so long.
Singin' the same old song."

Again and again and again. I hate it when a tune gets stuck in my head like that! And my ears have been ringin' too!

"Like a rhinestone cowboy
Riding out on a horse in a star-spangled rodeo"

Only time I rode a horse, I fell off ! Bumped my head and saw lots of stars, but no rodeo.

A joke for this week:

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. 'You all have obsessions, he observed.'

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the second Mom, Ann, 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth Mother, Kathy, quietly got up,took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Lets pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get
dinner.'

2010-06-07T19:21:00.000-05:00

Screaming Heads

It has been a struggle lately. At work, people are trying to get my attention from a distance. Good luck! The same goes for my shouting, jumping, arm waving neighbor, as I was trimming the hedge. It's a wonder, why they frustrate themselves?

Okay, I know this is a late complaint, but why do people 'celebrate' Memorial Day, and with firecrackers, no less? Memorial Day is a solemn observance of our soldiers war sacrifices. Think: prayers, bugles, taps, grave side services with flowers.

NOT firecrackers!

Damn things startle my hearing-aids, as well.

In the NEWS:

Helen Thomas, longtime WhiteHouse journalist has resigned over her recent remarks implying that Israel Jewish people should abandon their country and return to Germany and Poland or back to wherever they came.

To which former Bush aide Ari Fleischer states: "Helen's statement calling for the religious cleansing of Israel is reprehensible. If this isn't bigotry, what is? What she said is as bad as someone saying all blacks should leave."

This is a rather absurd analogy by Fleischer, considering that the Native Americans occupied this continent long before the European white men arrived. Perhaps the whites should also go back to Germany, Poland, England, Sweden, Norway, Denmark, Spain, Italy, France, and well... you get the point?

And the Africans? Were they not kidnapped, enslaved, and forced to come to America?

My own analogy, you ask?

We, The People, should only allow those smarter than a fifth grader to work at the WhiteHouse.

2010-05-25T19:53:00.000-05:00

Stupid is as stupid does

I joined an on-line discussion about Deaf culture versus the mainstream hearing world. The participants did kind of side with the hearing world, such as mainstream schools, oral communication, lipreading and cochlear implants.

Here in western NY there is a large number of deaf and hard of hearing people. I often see groups of deaf students. They seem very happy in their cliches. It is their 'safe' place. A group they can relax with and just be themselves.

As a hard of hearing person, a hearing-aid user, I have always been on the outside, looking in. I don't really belong to the Deaf or Hearing world. As a teenager, I would keep my hair long to conceal my hearing aids. I viewed my hearing loss as a weakness.

Of course, whenever I messed up during a conversation, people would think I was stupid, not realizing I misunderstood what they said. So, for me, it really comes down to choosing not Deaf culture versus the hearing world, but rather choosing between Deaf versus Stupid. I don't belong to any Deaf groups, but I admire their perseverance.

This post was my conclusion of the Deaf vs Hearing discussion:

"There is nothing wrong with embracing your deafness. Like it or not, it becomes a part of your personality, your being.

It might have been nice to live a life as a hearing person. But, I would not have embraced diversity with such enthusiasm, without the experience of deafness.

That is... life."

This weeks joke:

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet..

'Who are you?' he asked him..

'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator..

'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.

'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man replied.

'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little ba#@*^ds!'..

2010-05-18T19:48:00.001-05:00

Oil With That???

BP gives new meaning to a healthy dose of ' fish oil.' Maybe all those oil tar balls washing ashore can be dumped onto BP executives home's. The media keeps comparing this man-made incident to the Valdez oil spill disaster in Alaska, when really they should compare it to the Chernobyl nuclear accident.

Hearing wise, I switched from a hard earmold to a soft earmold several weeks ago. The mold fits much more snug, and that cuts down on feedback. And sounds seem more natural. I can hear the car radio and television more clearly. Happier!

2010-05-11T18:40:00.000-05:00

It Blows!

Another strong storm will blow through tonight while I am asleep. Like last weekend's wind storms, I will sleep undisturbed. Of course, should the house become airborne??? Different story, huh???

Truth is, I don't hear the howling wind, nor the crashing thunder while sleeping. No hearing-aids on, no noise. Until I step outside, stormdoor ripped from my grip, I won't realize there is 60 mph wind gusts.

My only warning system comes from Emergency Email. This free service alerts me to bad weather, frost warnings, environmental mishaps, health risks, virus outbreaks, as well as pc viruses. It's a small comfort.

Gotta jet!!!

2010-04-18T20:38:00.002-05:00

Funk

Kinda in a funk. I am definitely not dialed into 'the zone.' It's more like I have zeroed out of Planet Earth.

Last week at work someone said I was too quiet. That in itself is not earthshaking news! So later that same day an 'exciting' conversation broke out among several co-workers. Unable to catch a clue, I asked them 'what's up?' And got no response. Not even after the fifth 'what's up?'

Me thinks I prefer 'too quiet' over 'too frustrated.'

2010-04-01T18:55:00.002-05:00

Bullies Again!

A bit of action on the river.

This is a repost from 2 years ago. A little story about bullies.

Lately there has been a lot of news about bullies. So I thought I would put up this true story of my own little journey thru that pleasant experience we like to call . . . "high school."

I Stood Alone

The evil ones lurked behind me on the one-mile walk to school, following at three or four paces back. I heard some giggling; turned around to see Raf and Jason, two kids from my gym class. They seem to be talking to each other, but I could not grasp the conversation and so, continued on my way.

Soon came a mumble, followed by silence, then more giggling. I turned around, "What’s up guys? Whatcha say?"

Looking at me quizzically, "Huh? We didn’t say anything."

So I continued the journey, but could hear more giggling. I decided not to respond. They got louder and louder until I could finally hear what it was they were saying.
"Jimmy is an asshole," over and over again, followed by more giggling and more snickering.

I told them to knock it off, but again they denied anything was happening.

I figured at some point I would have to deal with this, but I never counted on the evil ones to up the ante.

* * *

Junior High was rough. Everything was new to me. Having multiple teachers, as opposed to the one teacher in grade school, was a recipe for disaster. The amount of focus required for me to hear, under different circumstances for each class, was over-whelming. There was no special assistance then, no note-takers, no voice-interpreters, nor any affordable tutors.

So what’s a hard-of-hearing kid to do? A mainstreamed kid, one who could experience the world from only a hearing-impaired perspective. From age six to age thirteen I wore this box-like body-aid. It had scratches, dents, with this embarrassing brace to hold it to my chest. Somehow this device would stick with me for four more years. And by some miracle, it now sits on my fireplace mantle, still in working condition.

* * *

As I joined the sea of bodies flowing through the school hallways, weaving my way to the next class, I heard that giggling sound again. Then I heard the "asshole" part.

Why me, I thought. Just because of this damn cord running from my chest to my ear?

I forced Raf over to the lockers and said my piece. "You and me are gonna meet after school! Meet me at the fields!"

For some odd reason, I don’t to this day know why I said this next bit, but it was a ‘live or die’ situation for a desperate teenager.

"You can bring all your sassy friends, too! I’ll fight all of ’em, but I’ll only fight ’em one at a time!"

Raf was laughing hysterically. He couldn’t believe that I called out his entire gang. “It’s gonna be a feast,” he marveled.

I was scared. I was nervous. Bypassing the fields, I hurried straight home after school. Soon there-after, came a knock on the front door. It was Raf. Could he please, please, please, be here to apologize?

"Come on Jimmy," he sneered. "We got a play date, remember?"

It was one of those cold brisk autumn days. I never thought to grab a sweatshirt. I was shaking so hard from cold and fright, my bones rattled. The sight of me shivering must have made Raf’s wolfpack feel quite confident.

At the fields, a gang of eight formed a circle. I was bull-in-the-ring. Jason stepped in first. He started with a little shove, then I cut loose. A flurry of hard body shots and he was finished. I beat up two more lighties, then they all scattered, running for safety.

But, Raf, he was their alpha male. He could not run. Alone now, we faced off. After a few exchanges, I knocked him down, jumped on him and grabbed his head. Fueled on adrenaline, all my anger, and all my emotions wanted to destroy this coward, to lift his head up and slam it against the turf.

But I could not.

My mind raced from thought to thought; all of this hate, this poison bottled up inside, where did it come from? Would it ever stop? Would it consume me?

Meanwhile, the rest of Raf’s gang had alerted his older brother Joe. He arrived on the scene as I sat atop Raf’s chest, mulling over what to do next.

"When you’re done with him, let me know," Joe calmly stated, then went over to a rock wall to have a front row seat.

I thought it over. "Say uncle!"

Raf mumbled "uncle" as requested.

"No, that’s not loud enough. I couldn’t hear you. Scream it!"

And so he did. In tears, he cried out an "uncle" that echoed across the valley on that brisk autumn day; humiliated in front of his brother, a brother who would not save his sorry butt for what he did.

As it turned out, these were kids from my own neighborhood.

Betrayed by the kids I thought were my friends, the damage was done.

2010-03-19T18:34:00.001-05:00

For now...

the hearing loss stories haven't seemed to generate much interest, so I will give that a long rest. Someone play taps, please????

Checked out a new waterhole. A fire station themed bar up at the port. Real neat place, but like most restaurants, all hard surfaces. Thus, hearing people was very difficult. The voices and sounds echo thru my hearing aids like when you are in a buildings stairwell.

I have recently been to the audie to have one of my hearing aid programs adjusted. I couldn't get enough volume to hear the tv. Also, the earmold was too loose, generating a lot of whistling feedback. So I have changed from a hard earmold to the soft version. The soft molds expand a bit from body warmth, making for a more smug fit.

One thing the audie said was that I should have been set up with a hearing aid with FM capabilities. The FM system is for direct sound input options. So maybe the next hearing aid??? Anyhow, I like the newest changes.

And this weeks joke:

The logic of scientific discovery…

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, A story in the LA Times read: “California archaeologists, finding 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers”.

One week later a local newspaper in Tennessee reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Knoxville, Tennessee, Wade and Bob Dudley, self-taught archaeologists, reported that they found absolutely nothing. They therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Tennessee had already gone wireless”.

2010-03-04T19:13:00.001-05:00

Playing The Race Card

I have never gotten a raise nor promotion at my current job. Nothing after 6 years of blood, sweat and tears. Two supervisors were dismissed over the past few years. Each time one left, some of their responsibilities were dumped on me. And I have never been compensated for the new workload.

My current supervisor pushed for a wage increase for me last year, but had been turned down. This month I really laid into him about how much I have contributed and accomplished, with no reward to show any appreciation from the company.

The boss confided that I deserved a raise, but didn't know how to get through to management and the HR department.

So I said to my boss, "Look, I am considered a minority in the eyes of the government."

And that is the truth, by disability, race, sexual orientation, religion and gender. We don't have special rights, but we do have the right to be treated as equals.

I went on to explain that he and management have a stake in this, as well.

I said, "If you (the boss) or management or HR should happen to have a job interview, internally or externally, wouldn't it be to your benefit to explain how you helped an individual with a disability maximize his potential? Wouldn't it score some interview points if you could cite a real example?"

And that is how I played "the race card."

It wasn't threatening. No! It was subtle. A win, win for everyone. And it worked!!!

* * *

A pic of my backyard from last weekends snow storm.

* * *

This weeks joke returns:

Sad news...

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.. He was considered a very smart cookie, but wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

If this made you smile for even a brief second, please rise to the occasion and take time to pass it on and share that smile with someone else who may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.

2010-02-14T18:01:00.001-05:00

My Living Proof

This is the final chapter of my adventure as a nine year-old with hearing loss, in the hospital for a few weeks to remove a tumor from above my ankle. I shared a room with three other kids, identical twins Donny and Ronny, and Joey. A fellow named Bob manned the nurse's station. He had no legs. My confidence had been shattered earlier that year from an incident at school.

You can read the prior stories here: (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

My Living Proof

Was it fate? Predetermined? Did the Gods and Demons hold all the cards?

When I first arrived at the hospital, the twins were very active; wheelies up and down the hallways, motoring their wheelchairs all over the second floor with reckless abandon. Full of enthusiasm, they crashed into the orderlies carrying waste, buzzed around nurses on watch, and plowed between doctors making their rounds. The twins seemed to be on their own, possibly orphans. I don’t recall any parents visiting them.

I was too young to understand what ailed twins, Ronny and Donny. They were both paralyzed, unable to walk. They were teens, in good physical shape, which leads me to believe they lost the ability to walk from the onset of an illness, such as some form of acute flaccid paralysis.

Whether or not the polio virus was the cause of their condition, I do not know. I do remember The March of Dimes program to eradicate polio, but at that time the virus was not successfully isolated, and there is doubt still today that the polio virus alone caused the childhood paralysis scare of the twentieth century. I am also puzzled that the doctors expected results less than a week after the operation.

* * *

Except for Bob’s nurse station, the twins seemed to own the joint. It was Bob who explained to me that the twins were having an operation on their spine, and if successful, they might be able to walk again.

And I was becoming more comfortable with Bob. As a nine year-old, it was difficult for me to imagine a life minus both legs; a life Bob lived. At first I couldn’t look at his stumps, but the more he chatted with me, the less afraid I became. Afraid? Yeah, because I would need to return time and again for checkups, fearful that the tumor removed from above my ankle could return. It would be an understatement to say that Bob was a normal person. He was special in ways I could not yet understand.

* * *

Donny went under the knife first, then Ronny on the following day. The wheelchairs were left in ‘park’ for the time being, as they were both bedridden after their operations.

After several days, a group of doctors entered our room to examine Donny. It was early morning as I silently watched from my bed. Joey was in the bed next to me. He reached over to squeeze ahold of my hand as we both watched the scene across the room unfold

They asked Donny questions, moved his legs a bit, then asked more questions. While one doctor distracted Donny with talk, another doctor pulled a safety pin from his pocket and poked Donny’s bare foot. There was no response. Donny just kept right on conversing with the other doctor. He never felt a thing.

All the white coats huddled up at the foot of Donny’s bed in what looked like a group hug. Tension filled the air. One of the white coats broke rank to explain to Donny, the operation proved unsuccessful.

All hell broke loose! Bedpans, clocks and radios, all airborne!

Donny screamed, “No, No, No!!!” Tears of disappointment streaked his cheeks. He was freaking. Who wouldn’t be?

At the same time, his twin Ronny jumped halfway out of his bed, yelling, “Donny! Donny! Stop! It’s gonna work out. Don’t panic! Don’t give up! Don’t ever give up!”

The doctors caught Ronny from falling to the floor, then wrestled him back into his bed. Damn! That kid was gonna crawl to his twin brother one way or another, so the docs pushed their beds together.

For me, it was like being suspended in time, seated on my bed grasping Joey’s hand, frozen stiff in a mind grip, tears and shocking disbelief. Was there no God? Did the Demons win?

Next day, the same doctors came to examine Ronny. The results were negative. More screaming, more crying. It didn’t scare me this time. I was just so moved by it all. Was anyone upstairs keeping watch over the twins? Where was their Reverend Van?

A few days later, the twins were eased back into their wheels. It wasn’t long before the orderlies, nurses and doctors were dodging wheelchairs, again. And I could hear the twins laughter as they motored down the hallway and into our room.

I was stunned, to say the least.

They were determined more than ever to carry on their journey.

Call it resilience. Call it perseverance. For me it was... impact!

They might never walk again, yet they were smiling, joking and teasing everyone. I will never forget them. I thank them for showing me the way, the light. And I will always wonder how they made out in life.

As for me, I was free of the so-called double ankle and returned for checkups every so often for the rest of my childhood. I beat this one, but it didn’t matter. What I gained during that hospital experience was invaluable for a kid with a disability, a hearing loss.

During the worst of times, no matter how bad things get, those words hollered by Ronny on that fateful morning come back to remind me: “Don’t give up! Don’t ever give up!”

Fate wasn’t so much up to the Gods and Demons. They don’t hold all the cards. No.

The light, it comes from within. And that’s the card I get to play.

Donny and Ronny… Joey and Bob, they were my heroes.

Scratch that...make it..…

SUPERHEROES!!!

2010-02-07T13:47:00.000-05:00

'til Hell Puddles Over

The story continues through the eyes and mind of a nine year-old with hearing loss. Still in the hospital recovering from surgery to remove a tumor from above my ankle. Help from above comes to the rescue in my time of need? Er... you decide.

You can read the previous stories here:
(Part 1) (Part 2)

'til Hell Puddles Over

Following the operation, I had never been so nervous as the first time I went for therapy. After spending a few days in bed, sitting up and being placed into a wheelchair made me dizzy.

The female therapist was quite pretty, young with blonde flowing hair. When she lifted me onto the low parallel bars, I nearly vomited on her clean blue uniform. By some divine intervention, I managed to scarf it back down. So much for pride, huh?

When returned to my room, everyone was gone. Joey and Ronny were in the hospital’s school room. Donny was taking his turn under the knife. So the orderlies put me back in bed, then wheeled the bed into the center of the room so I could get a better view of the tv.

As I laid there watching Bullwinkle yet again save Rocky’s tail, this tall dark shadowy figure filled the doorway. A man of the cloth, dressed in black.

The Reverend from my church confused me, especially when he was up on the pulpit. Although Reverend Van preached against my demons, with his shouting, he scared the Bejeezus out of me!

The church, you see, with it’s high ceiling, hardwood floors and wooden pews, affects the acoustics. When you are in a stairwell and the noise echos, well that was what the sermon sounded like through my hearing aid.

“Turn from the devil,” the Reverend’s voice would boom. “Let Jesus lead you from evil! Save yourself, before it’s too late!”

I could hear the pastor’s shouting voice, but just couldn’t distinguish all the wobbling words.

The demons in my head were silenced by turning off my hearing aid. The rest of the service would find me exploring the tall stained glass windows, as light brightened the heavenly figures. By quieting the haunted church, the windows became my sermon. And that ‘off ’ switch became my ‘safe place.’

Knowing about the tumor operation, Reverend Van dropped in at the hospital to chat me up. Alone in the room, confined to the bed, I couldn’t just get up and run. Awe heck, I hadn’t even been issued crutches just yet.

Trapped with no way out, I pulled the sheets up to my chin. I had to face ‘the shouter’ and up close, too! I was so scared, the urge to pee flooded my memory banks. Since the orderlies had temporarily relocated my bed to the center of the room, there was no help button nearby.

In his deep baritone voice, the man in black wanted to explore my spirit. “How are you feeling today, son? God is keeping watch over you!”

I tensely replied, “Uh, yeah, the...the...pretty therapist, um, she’s watchin’ over me......too.”

“Pretty therapist?” he stammered, as his brows furrowed, and eyes darkened.

“Yeah... she’s pretty... so are the nurses!” I answered while struggling to impede the flow. “And if you don’t call one... right now... it’ll be too late... to save... my soul!”

And with that the floodgates burst open, pissing damnation all over myself.

* * *

That evening my parents visited.

“Mom, why’s the Reverend traveling way out of his territory to the hospital? Who’s minding the church?”

Smiling, she explained, “That’s what they do, honey. He came all this way just to cheer up one of the flock.”

“Well, he didn’t cheer me at all. He scared the Bejeezus outta me! Again!”

I never did mention what else he scared out of me.

* * *

The church offered little hope, far as I was concerned. If I were to see the light, it would have to come from another source. And I was desperate for some living, breathing inspiration to overcome my demons. It would slap me from an unlikely source.

2010-01-31T19:12:00.003-05:00

Double Ankle

(Read Part 1 here)

After the gym incident things couldn’t possible get worse or could it?

There comes a time in life, a turning point, where everything innocent, everything normal, is lost. At age nine, in the month of May, that time arrived for me. The next three weeks the meaning of life would dramatically change.

Late that winter, one morning as I dressed, I noticed a bump just above my ankle. After mentioning it to Gramma, she wanted to see.

“It’s a double ankle,” she exclaimed.

“Double ankle, huh? Wow, with this maybe some day I can win a medal in the Olympics!” I gloated.

After all the poking and probing by several doctors, it had been decided the double ankle needs to be surgically removed because it’s a tumor. Clang! There goes my medal. I knew nothing about tumors. Why it decided to park itself above my ankle, or what planet it came from.

At first I was quite brave about the whole ordeal. That is, until it was finally time to leave for the hospital. The idea of being left in a hospital room with a bunch of strangers, me unable to hear very good, it terrified me.

We entered the Children’s Hospital that Sunday. Monday would be a prep day, with the surgery performed on Tuesday. The Children’s Hospital is the same location where my weekly speech lessons are held.

This very cool guy, Bob, he runs the switchboard at the nurse’s station on the second floor. The billing office is right next to Bob’s station. Since first attending speech lessons from the age of six, I would ascend the stairs to pay the bill, saving Mom the trip. Bob would always chat me up as I stood on my toes to peek over the front of his workstation. Always friendly, never complaining, forever cheerful, that was Bob.

My hospital room was located on the second floor too, so my folks thought it would be comfy for me, knowing that Bob worked there.

First I met my hospital cellmates, Joey, Donny and Ronny. We couldn’t escape. Joey was fourteen. Until I met Joey, no one ever told me I might awake from this operation minus one leg. He was like a big brother and showed me the ropes; the help button on the bedside, the bathroom, and the rec room.

We had a tv, and a concrete porch outside our room. Down the hall was a room full of adults, for some reason or other, all crippled. Kids were forbidden from entering their room unescorted.

My other two roomies, Donny and Ronny, were sixteen-year-old identical twins; both had become crippled and wheelchair bound. I don’t know the reason why, but some kind of pressure on their spine or something. They would have surgery that same week to release the pressure, restoring feeling into their legs, so they could possibly walk again.

On Monday, for the first time ever I got a glance behind Bob’s workstation. My eyes grew to the size of grapefruits. Bob didn’t have any legs! Not even stumps! Nothing!

For three years this guy’s been cheering me up?

Joey must be right, I thought. Are they gonna remove the tumor, or remove my leg?

The nurse entered our room late Monday evening, she handed me two sleeping pills with a glass of water. I couldn’t figure out why, never had trouble sleeping, so why were they forcing pills on me? They made me forgo supper, too!

A nurse shook me awake bright and early Tuesday morning. At first everything was groggy; in super slo-motion. The smell of bacon awoke my senses. I asked for something to eat, but was ignored. So what happened next?

“Here jimmy, take these two pills,”instructed the nurse. “They’re to help you sleep during the procedure.”

“Awe gee, I was already asleeping!” I bitched. “You woke me up in order to knock me out?”

I had to stay awake long enough to see my folks. It was brief. They walked alongside as I’m wheeled into surgery. Mom was fighting back the tears.

We pushed into this spic and span room, bright lights, and shiny stainless steel all around. There were people with gowns and masks, all going about their business. It was scary; all of these strangers.

This one masked man hovered over my face. He wanted to know how I’m feeling. “Are ya tired at all, son?”

“Not at all,” I lied. “How ’bout some breakfast while we’re waitin’? Cuz it might be awhile afore I’m sleepy. And I’m starving! Bacon, eggs, and toast will do.”

“Ahuh,” the masked man countered. “Why don’t you try counting backwards from one hundred to zero. That always works for me.”

“Then you’ll feed me? Okay, I’ll give it a try. Um, one hundred, ninety-nine, hey! I want my eggs scrambled, okay? You got that? Um, let’s see, oh yeah, ninety-eight, ninety... uh... um... seven, ninety uh... uh... zzzzzzz.”

I opened my eyes, the clock read three in the afternoon; the room, it started to spin, and spin, and spin, until I spilled my guts, then passed out until late evening.

Slowly my eyes came into focus, there on the nightstand was this small jar filled with fluid, and suspended in the fluid was this most beautiful light blue Robin's egg... the tumor.

And my leg? It was still attached to me!

But the worst was not meant for me. No!

Blogged with the Flock Browser

I Brake For Squirrels?

2010-01-26T20:34:00.001-05:00

Almost home from work, I was losing brake pressure. My mechanic's garage was nearby, so I pulled in and left it with them to check out the next day. They called and told me a brake line ruptured underneath, just past the driver's seat.

And there was more news! Oh, yes!!!

One of the two straps holding the gas tank up had snapped. It was ready to fall off at anytime. One good rattle, one thumping pothole and 'thar she blows!' Well, I'm sure dropping this baby in the 'can of worms' during heavy traffic, it would be all over the local news.

Years ago, I would tell people how I jumped out of an airplane the first two times I ever flew. Never landed in one. Skydived the first two times up.

Weird, huh?

So, perhaps now I shall explain how... a ruptured brake line saved my life???

This weeks joke:

A mother is driving her 7 year-old daughter to her friend’s house for a play date when the little girl asks “Mommy, how old are you?”

“Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,” the mother replies sweetly. “It’s not polite.”

“OK,” the little girl says, “How much do you weigh?”

“Now really,” the mother says, a bit less sweetly. “Those are personal questions and are really none of your business.”

Undaunted, the little girl asks, “Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?”

“That’s enough questions, young lady, honestly!” mom says as her daughter is getting out of the car.

The exasperated mother drives away as the two friends begin to play.

“My Mom won’t tell me anything about her,” the little girl says to her friend.

“Well,” says the friend, “all you need to do is look at her driver’s license. It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.”

Later that night the little girl says to her mother, “I know how old you are, you are 32.”

The mother is surprised and asks, “How did you find that out?”

“I also know that you weigh 140 pounds.”

The mother is past surprised and shocked now. “How in heaven’s name did you find that out?”

“And,” the little girl says triumphantly, “I know why you and Daddy got a divorce.”

Now mom’s getting mad. She says, “Oh really? And just why is that, young lady?”

“Because you got an F in sex.”

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2010-01-22T19:24:00.004-05:00

A Nine-Year-Old

I have a series of brief glimpses into my life as a hard-of-hearing(h-o-h) youngster. They will appear from time to time over the next few months, but probably not in successive posts. Dunno for certain. My writing skills are not very polished, but I will try my best.

Why do this? I think it is important for youngsters to know that emotional turmoil happens to all of us with hearing loss. It's not just you, alone, even though you might feel that way.

And for parents of h-o-h kids, know that hurt feelings will happen to your child, no matter how protective you are. Always keep the communication lines for one-on-one conversations open. Keep in mind, the more worried my parents became, the less I shared with them. I would hide my hearing frustrations just to keep Mom and Dad from fussing over me.

Emotional Nines

Sometimes emotional scars are so deeply etched in memory, it’s as if the events occurred yesterday. No amount of mental patchwork can smooth the hurt. For this nine-year-old, the pain would strike again and again.

* * *

A blackboard eraser whistled overhead, parting hairs, that was all it took to grab my attention. Mr. Tamburro had a way of keeping his students from daydreaming.

Every one of his students received one-on-one mentoring when needed. He wrote in my report card: “James is a very nice boy and he works hard. I’m going to spend some extra time with him in Reading and Social Studies in an attempt to raise his grades.”

My hearing loss, at such a young age, led me to mispronounce words. For example, I had difficulty hearing the ‘th’ sound. Improved reading skills could aid in learning proper pronunciations.

And the next marking period, he wrote: “Jimmy improved a great deal. I think we’ve got him moving now.”

Cradling a stockpile of his eraser missiles, Mr. Tamburro was true to his word.

And me? My confidence soared!

* * *

All the fourth grade boys had gathered in the gym for PE. I never wore the Body-aid hearing device during gym for fear of breaking it. The PE teacher, Mueller, was late. So naturally, all of us boys were goofing off. My back was to the doorway as Mueller finally entered the gym.

“Okay guys, sorry I’m late, let’s take attendance.”

But I wasn’t facing the doorway, so I never saw Mueller enter the gym, nor heard him. I continued goofing off. All of a sudden, wham, this big strong hand slapped me hard, across the back of my head, because I was still yapping away while Mueller wanted quiet!

“Knock it off, jimmy, and pay attention!”

Stunned, I crouched to the floor, making myself small, but my instinct was to defend myself. That’s just what I did. Springing forward, I connected with a solid body shot!. Slammed him one right into the gut! A knuckle sandwich!

Mueller and I tussled; him pushing, shoving, then me, with fist a-flying. It was a no-win confrontation for a demonic nine-year-old boy. I ended up confined until the conclusion of PE. Mueller tried to approach my corner during class.

“Get away from me, you jerk,” I hollered. “Leave me alone!”

I was emotionally out of control, tears streaking my cheeks, and would swing wildly whenever Mueller came within range. Somehow, he managed to get my brother Gary out of his class to come calm me down. Gary was in sixth grade. From time to time he looked after me.

“jimmy, what's going on,” Gary inquired. “Why are you bawling?”

“Because that jerk of a teacher hit me,” I whimpered.

“If you don’t settle down, you’re gonna get into worse trouble. Why’d he hit you?”

“Cuz he’s a jerk! I was talking while he sneaked up behind me and slapped my head! Didn’t even know he was in the gym. Just because I can’t hear, now grownups are gonna smack me around?”

Gary had a conference with Mueller. It was decided if I shook hands, all would be squared and forgiven. Forgiven? Never again did I turn my back on that mean jerk.

A nine year-old slugging it out with the strongest adult in the school? Damn demon just won’t go away!

Returning to regular class, Mr. Tamburro could see that something was amiss. He took me aside to ask what’s up, “jimmy, what’s going on kid, you look like a train wreck?”

As I fought back the rainstorm, “Awe... umm... gee... it’s nothing Mr. T. Just all tuckered out from running around in gym class.”

I just couldn’t muster enough courage to tell him my hearing had failed me. Heck, I was nine years old, simultaneously dealing with this newfound anger and shaking with fear. Hopelessly confused, I didn’t understand why.

Lots of kids were in that PE class and to this day I don’t know if any of them ever spoke up. At least two teachers had to know something out of the ordinary occurred, Mr. Tamburro and Gary’s teacher.

And Gary, well I’m not sure if he ever told Mom and Dad. Maybe he just felt embarrassed for having such an out-of-control kid brother.

As for that confidence Mr. Tamburro instilled in me?

. . . Crushed.

2010-01-11T21:53:00.004-05:00

Tyler is a young man who has commented here a few times, as has his brother Ryan. At the mo, he is in a medically induced coma after an accident of some kind. I've seen these types of tragedy way too often. Your thoughts and prayers for Tyler and his family would be most welcome in their time of need.

Tyler is 16. Here is something he recently posted: I do have this report I have to have turned in by next week. We need to pick a topic on anything and write about it. Of course the first thing that came to my mind was motocross. But they would expect that from me. I have another idea I'm thinking about and it's writing about hate. I know many people use this topic and it can cover many different forms of hate. I'll think about it while I'm riding but I'm leaning toward that topic.

Now,Ty could have chosen the easy subject, his love and desire for motocross. But no, instead he picks a more difficult challenge, hate. There is something special about a youngster who is willing to ask and explore the difficult questions. And for that, Tyler gives us . . . hope.

2010-01-04T19:27:00.003-05:00

Death By Low Batteries?

I'm sitting in the den watching TV when this occasional beeping noise starts. After awhile it sounds more and more like feedback from my hearing-aids. As usual, I adjust the volume downward.

I'm still hearing a beep now and then, so I jam the ear mold in for a snugger fit. It's still beeping. Being lazy and just home from work, I kinda ignore it for the next fifteen minutes. Finally, I realize it isn't my hearing-aid. I look around and notice a dim red light flashing every minute or so on the CO2 detector. Low battery warning!

It is good to know I can hear the high-pitch alarm of the CO2 detector, although only with my aids on. The smoke detector is electric powered with a strobe light, so no worries there.

Other news on the home front, we got twenty inches of snow the past two days, with temperatures in the single digits Fahrenheit. And the worst is yet to come.

This weeks Joke:

The Value of a Catholic Education and a #2 Pencil

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class. One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. “Tell me Susie, who created the universe?”

When Susie didn’t stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear. “God Almighty!” shouted Susie.

The Nun said, “Very good” and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Susie, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”

But Susie didn’t stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt. “Jesus Christ!!!” shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, “Very good,” and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question… “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?”

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, “If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half !”

The nun fainted…

2009-12-31T17:08:00.003-05:00

Hear of the Dog???

Just want to wish everyone a safe and happy 2010 !!!

I'll be home reading a good book tonite. Big wild parties are a thing of the past for me. I would always have too much trouble hearing the convo, so then I would slink away, find the keg, give it a loving hug, and end up drinking way too much beer.

Please don't even mention jello shots.

Enjoy!!!

2009-12-28T14:54:00.004-05:00

Hearing Hangover

The holiday went okay, but as is usually the case, the ears desperately need a vacation of their own. Constantly on the alert, trying to hear each and every word of every family conversation takes its toll. So I spent the past 2 days alone at home, with a hike up at the lake. Ears are all rested up now!

I found this tinitus article about Metallica's Lars Ulrich, an excerpt:

"If you get a scratch on your nose, in a week that'll be gone," Ulrich said. "When you scratch your hearing or damage your hearing, it doesn't come back. I try to point out to younger kids ... once your hearing is gone, it's gone, and there's no real remedy." (Read the full article)

Personally, I have been hearing from people, some only 30-years-old, who wish they had protected their hearing when they were younger. If you go to a concert, take some earplugs with you, so you or a friend can have them at the ready if needed. Think of it as a first-aid kit.

If you are entering the military, get your hearing tested by an independent audiologist of your choice. Then when you leave the service get your hearing tested again for comparison.

Always ask for a copy of your audiogram.

2009-12-24T09:24:00.003-05:00

Good Natured

I'm not much of a church person. One year I volunteered to help a Deaf church build an addition to their place of worship. During that summer I attended services. I can sign some, but I'm not as quick as others.

Seemed like a lot of the membership didn't like me. So I asked the pastor why that was?

"Is it because I can hear with my aids?"

"No," he replied, "it's because you can speak."

It wasn't an issue of jealousy or wannabe, but one of trust. Nothing against the Deaf, but I no longer bother with church activities. I'd rather take a long hike on Sunday mornings and commune with Mother Nature.

She's pretty good at sign language, too!

I'm off to visit family!

Peace on Earth...

I Had A Dream

2009-12-18T20:14:00.001-05:00

There I was, back in my hometown, surrounded by old high school mates. Yes, they were all old, wrinkled and gray. Same long haired mop-heads, though! The odd part was this, everyone wore behind-the-ear hearing-aids. Everyone! These hearing-aids were H-U-U-U-GE!!! They were so big, ya couldn’t hide them under your long hair like I did when I was a teen.

I’m not sure how to interpret this dream. Maybe as I age, I become more normal? A kind of normal where old people can’t hear very well? That’s scary! I’ve never been normal. Not sure I’d wanna go there. Guess I’d prefer to remain in my own little ‘Bizzaro World.’

In other developments, I’ve been recognized at work as a ‘Top Performer’ for October, and again for November. Since there isn’t any real way to measure my production output, I’m not certain how I became so distinguished these past two months.

And the winner gets (drum roll please)... a free lunch!

Also at work, somehow Fedex manage to erroneously drop off a Starky hearing-aid package. So, if you are reading this, and are fuming over a lost Starky, just sit tight, it’s in the mail.

On a more serious note, I had trouble at work with my hearing during meetings. The last meeting was about Open Enrollment for our health care choices. Needing some assistance with my forms, I went to HR for help. I decided to inform HR in a subtle way that their meetings... ‘are not hearing-loss friendly.’ My message got no reaction from HR at all.

Dumb dipsh*t!!!

I’m gonna have to be more direct with my complaint. Thing is, whenever I point out an injustice, I don’t leave any wiggle room for the opposition. And I know their gonna try to wiggle and weasel with some lame excuse.

Funny Facts:

Santa Stats
From http://www.JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com

There are currently 78 people named S. Claus
living in the U.S. -- and one Kriss Kringle.
(You gotta wonder about that one kid's parents)

December is the most popular month for nose jobs.

Weight of Santa's sleigh loaded with one Beanie Baby
for every kid on earth: 333,333 tons.

Number of reindeer required to pull a 333,333-ton s
sleigh: 214,206 -- plus Rudolph.

Average wage of a mall Santa: $11 an hour.
With real beard: $20.

To deliver his gifts in one night, Santa would have to
make 822.6 visits per second, sleighing at 3,000 times
the speed of sound.

At that speed, Santa and his reindeer would burst into flame
instantaneously.

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Deaf Fears?

2009-12-11T20:39:00.001-05:00

Recently I was asked by a co-worker, what is my biggest fear? I didn't give a truthful answer, cuz I don't share that with people close to me, so why would I share it with co-workers.

So, what is my biggest bad-ass, earth-shaking fear?

Most peeps that know me think my most dreadful nightmare would be going profound deaf.

Nope, that's not it. Wouldn't bother me at all, except that I would no longer be able to enjoy music as I currently can. I can lipread some. I'm not fluent in sign language, but know enough to get by. And I will always have my street-smarts. Most of all, NOT having to hear people, might just be a load off my back. Losing the rest of my hearing doesn't scare me.

So, what makes my knees rattle, my legs buckle?

It is this: Whenever I am with a group of people, especially people I am not close to, and someone ask me a question, and I can't hear what it is they are asking, and then I ask them to repeat, but still don't hear the question. It goes on like this 3 or 4 more times and I still don't get it. I feel so embarrassed, so low, but mostly, it is that dreaded feeling of being helpless. Nobody can reach into my mind and fix that. It's broken. It isn't fixable.

And the stigma of hearing loss has won another round. Kapow!!!

However, there was one time when I was able to turn that nightmare into a positive. I was a new employee, maybe 2 months into the job. Was sitting in the breakroom with a group of 6 others. I mentioned that I had bought a new TV. Chris asked me a question about it, but I got hung up on a word.

He repeated. I asked again. We went 7 rounds before I finally understood he was asking me from which store did I purchased the TV? It was so damn embarrassing in front of these people who were new to me. I figured they would never bother speaking to me again.

Later on that day, I came to realize, hey, no matter how many times I asked Chris to repeat what he asked, he hung in there with me. It never fazed him. So Chris became kind of a Hero in my eyes. I made a point to let him know just how much I appreciated his effort.

Too bad Chris moved away to Carolina. I could use more friends like him!

This post dedicated to Ty.

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2009-12-06T21:16:00.003-05:00

Weed

The hardest thing I have to do every day is hear. It's like constantly being on the prowl. Being so focused for the entire day really wears me down mentally and physically. In addition, my hearing has been sounding more flat for short durations. So I will visit the doctor on Tuesday.

Despite feeling ill, I've managed to get in an hour hike on Sunday. Remember this stuff in the pic below?

Yup, it's burdock! As a kid, you would think this weed grew on me. My friend Alan and I would be out in the woods exploring every weekend. It was always meshed into my socks, pants, and sleeves. Mom wouldn't wash my clothes until I plucked out every last bit of the burdock.

What kid had that much patience?

This weeks joke:

Xmas Traditions

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked, and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.

In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.

Just then the doorbell rang, and irritable Santa trudged to the door. He opened the door, and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?"

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

2009-11-29T21:36:00.003-05:00

Fenced Out

I spent Thanksgiving thru Saturday visiting my brothers family. Sadly, it has become more awkward for me to participate in family events. It isn't too bad when we are actually doing something, like star-gazing last summer. But being stuck inside the house during a cold rainy holiday weekend is the pits.

Why? Cuz I can no longer follow most conversations unless the speaker is facing me. With so many people speaking simultaneously, I basically spent 3 days fifth-wheeling it. Yeah, me hanging out, unable to join the family verbal battles. If I nod my head at the wrong time, someone won't be on speaking terms with me. Tilt my head with a look of concern, it gets interpreted as an 'evil-eye.'

Here is an excerpt from Deaf Info that sums up my situation:

First of all, if you are born deaf/hard-of-hearing (or become deaf/HOH later in life), I'm sorry to say that you will never completely fit into the hearing world. Period. That's it, that's a hardcore fact which I feel will never change. Sure, you can assimilate into the hearing world with varying degrees of success (depending on residual hearing, speech and lipreading skills, etc.), but you will never completely fit in 100%.

As for Sunday, I worked. No one else was there.

Seems like a fitting end to the weekend.

Silence.

Period.

I can't keep doing this. . .

2009-11-25T19:52:00.002-05:00

Stressed Out

I was gonna put something nice up for Thanksgiving, but work came first.

I gave it my all to finish up a couple of mail jobs our clients needed right away. I really kicked ass! It felt good. Then the boss dropped a load of very complicated paperwork on me with only 15 minutes until quitting time. All kinds of numbers, rates, and multiplication.

A gallon of white-out later, I'm pissed off cuz the numbers don't add up correctly. Effing this, effing that, angry as sh*t, I look up and ... everyone's gone home!!! I was gonna leave at 5, it's now 6:30.

So I walked out, job unfinished.

I hate being stressed out... feels like a turkey!

2009-11-19T19:14:00.004-05:00

My Freak Years

A post on the HLA forum asked what your favorite quote is regarding deafness or hearing loss. Mine follows:

I like this quote by Paul Saevig: One coping mechanism I see some hard of hearing people use is acting as if nothing's wrong. A couple of you who use this mechanism are reading this column right now. Nothing wrong, is there? It doesn't hurt? Doesn't bother you? You don't care? I nominate these brave souls for the John Wayne Blood n- Guts Award. They can put the trophy right next to their ulcer medicine.

As a teen, that was me, ol blood-n-guts, pretending and faking my emotions all through high school. My Mom was always worried about me, so I learned to hide my true feelings from her and everyone else. Only problem was, the frustrations of being isolated and missing out on a social life, it all builds up until ya have a mental blowup.

With regard to hearing loss, I only exposed my emotions to my parents one time.

I got my first hearing-aid when I was six. When I was 16 the Audiologist wanted me to wear not one, but two hearing-aids. We were all in her office when they told me. I screamed at 'em with tears streaking my cheeks, "I'm already a freak wearing one, now ya want me to wear two?"

Odd thing is, later on, Mom and Dad never commented on my outburst. I think they were shell-shocked.

And I only wore one hearing-aid, when I really needed two.

Ok, this weeks joke:

1+2=3

Until a child tells you what they are thinking, we can't begin to imagine how their mind is working....

Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything... tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math.

Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school. After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying.

Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner.

To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before.

This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.

Finally, little Zachary brought home his Report Card. He quietly laid it on the table, went to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an 'A' in math.

She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?"

Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. "Well, then," she replied, "Was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT?"

Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."

Rudderless Mess

2009-11-12T20:23:00.001-05:00

I took my truck in for a new muffler and exhaust pipe. After the mechanics looked the vehicle over, they showed me the estimate and also explained, "Your rudder is bad. You want us to fix the rudder?"

I'm like, "Huh? Run that by me again."

"Your rudder! No good! You want it fixed?"

"My rudder?"

"Yeah, yeah, brake pads are good. Rudders are bad!" he shouted.

Geez, for a minute I thought this guy was loony. Couldn't tell a truck from a boat?

Well, I figured they were trying to run up costs, so I told em to leave 'the rudders' alone. A different garage took care of my brakes. That work is still under warranty, so they can check the rotors out.

In the news... Health Care has passed the house.

From what I have learned, the bill contains no medical coverage for hearing aids. Nada! Zip! In addition, hearing aid purchasers might have to pay a tax!!!

It is beyond belief that as much as the plan will cost, it can't cover hearing aids. It has come time to label this type of non-action what it really is... Discrimination!

The government, the lobbyist, and the insurance companies are all guilty! This ignorance has been going on for decades. The usual explanation... Hearing aids are too expensive.

Well, duh... all the more reason the hearing loss community needs help!!!

Need a heart transplant? Insurance covers it.

Need a hearing device? Drop dead!

And now a joke (as if the last 2 items weren't knee-slappers) :

The Power of the Badge

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher.

He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."

The rancher says, "Okay, but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life, chased by the rancher's Santa Gertrudis bull.... With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.

The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs....

"Your badge... Show him your BADGE !!!"

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2009-10-25T19:07:00.004-05:00

Roughing it?

The past few weeks I have worked tons of overtime, but I have managed to get in a weekend hike, which is a terrific stress reliever for me. Oftentimes, like today, I will shut off my hearing aids and just absorb the quiet side of nature as I explore new trails.

One thing that is new to me, but might seem rather odd to everyone else, I never knew that squirrels make a sound. I just figured they lived their nutty lives in silence. Kind of weird since my backyard never has less than a half dozen of those tree rats. Anyhow, I found out they chatter from a co-worker who has a squirrel caller. He brought the noise maker in to show me. So naturally, I was sneaking around at work, making (annoying!) squirrel noises all day, hehe!

Some pics from my hike:

And this weeks joke:

2009-10-10T20:57:00.004-05:00

In The Beginning

It started with elephants, in the First Grade.

The teacher gave a bit of a lecture, then wanted us to draw a picture. I thought she instructed us to draw and color any circus animal, so I did my best to create a circus horse; one where the rider attempts jumps and acrobatics.

When our alotted time expired, I lined up with the other kids to hand in my Picasso. Noticing that my classmates had all drawn elephants, I slunk to the back of the line. Now standing solo in front of the teacher, her piercing eyes burning a hole through my 6 year-old soul, I had become her demon boy.

I pleaded for a second chance. She refused. Why?

The very next morning, upon entering the classroom, up above the blackboard, was a row of elephants followed by... gasp... one single horse. I stood still, waiting for hell to freeze over. I wished I'd die right then and there; six years-old.

Embarrassed, yes, but worse, scheduled for that evening was a one-on-one Parent-Teacher Conference.

As tears streaked my cheeks, I begged her to take my horse down. Again, she refused. Why???

A few weeks later I had my hearing tested for the first time; soon to be followed by a body-aid.

This was only... the beginning.

* * *

Well, that is how it all began for me. As a kid, you don't accept hearing loss. It takes a series of blows to break your spirit. And still, you don't want to believe you are different. Somehow demonized, cursed, forever falling to the bottom of the barrel, climbing back up, peering over the rim, only to be kicked back down again.

Batman? Spidie? Who ya gonna call?

2009-10-06T19:04:00.001-05:00

The following information was recently released by the U.S. Department of Justice:

Crime Against People with Disabilities, 2007

Presents
the first findings about nonfatal violent and property crime
experienced by persons with disabilities, based on the National Crime
Victimization Survey (NCVS). The report includes data on nonfatal
violent victimization (rape/sexual assault, robbery, aggravated and
simple assault) and property crime (burglary, motor vehicle theft,
theft) against persons with disabilities in 2007. It compares the
victimization experience of persons with and without disabilities,
using population estimates based on the Census Bureau’s American
Community Survey (ACS). Data are presented on victim and crime
characteristics of persons with and without disabilities, including
age, race and gender distribution; offender weapon use; victim
injuries; and reporting to the police.

Highlights include the following:

Persons
with disabilities were victims of about 47,000 rapes,
79,000 robberies, 114,000 aggravated assaults, and
476,000 simple assaults.
Age-adjusted rate of nonfatal violent crime against
persons with disabilities was 1.5 times higher than the
rate for persons without disabilities.
Females with a disability had a higher victimization rate
than males with a disability; males had a higher rate
than females among those without a disability.

As a teenager I was a victim of a crime I never reported. I don't really want to go into the details. I'll only say that an individual got me intoxicated first, made a move, and then I blacked out.

Since that incident, my radar is always up and running.

A bump in the night, I got to get out of bed and check all the windows and doors. Not sure how I can actually hear that bump without aids on. I think it is just part of a dream.

I now have a good 6th sense when it comes to judging strangers, by reading their body language. That ability comes from a lifetime as hearing impaired. I have also developed keen street smarts. You don't have to stare the bad guys eye to eye, but don't cower from them either.

Show confidence, not fear.

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2009-09-22T19:59:00.003-05:00

Twas a Fun Summer...

Fishing

Wrasslin'

Volleyball

Swimming

And this weeks joke:

Ya gotta Love Drunk People

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 AM by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

"Not a chance, " says the husband, it is 3:00 AM in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed.

"Who was that?" asked the wife.

"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.

"Did you help him?" she asked.

"No, I did not, it is 3:00 AM in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!

"Well, you have a short memory," says the wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"

"Yes," comes back the answer.

"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband, soaking wet.

"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.

"Where are you?" ask the husband.

"Over here on the swing!" replied the drunk.

Camping.

Well, actually, a drunken night in my backyard, hehe!!!

Phone Hex

2009-09-17T19:59:00.001-05:00

I've had issues with the phone again. Ya just never know what's going to happen from one call to the next. The call was about bringing a $400 check to the home refinance closing, but I became frustrated cuz I couldn't understand what the 400 dollars was to pay for.

Turns out the money was for school taxes included in my escrow payment. Once I signed the contract, the next mortgage payment isn't until November. School taxes are due starting in September. Now it all makes sense, but I was mentally tied up in knots for the next 2 days until it was all explained to me at the closing.

When the woman talked to me on the phone, as usual, her voice was soft and weak. She wouldn't speak up louder despite my pleas.

Grrrr....

This weeks joke:

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the
last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained
vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00

Oil Change instructions for Men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil,
filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for
$50.00.

2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process.
Cuss..

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw
kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter
and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil
everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash
can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to
gasket surface.

18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19) Remember drain plug from step 11.

20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21) Drink beer.

22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw
kitty litter on oil spill.

23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily
rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening
drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between
knuckles and frame.

25) Begin cussing fit.

26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

28) Beer.

29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30) Beer.

31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32) Beer.

33) Lower car from jack stands..

34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during
any missed steps.

35) Beer.

36) Test drive car.

37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38) Car gets impounded.

39) Call loving wife, make bail.

40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

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Last to Know

2009-09-10T10:12:00.001-05:00

Just a Day in a Life?

No.

I finished working the graveyard shift.

Arrived home 7:15 AM, exhausted.

Sound asleep by 7:30 AM.

Awoke refreshed, 3:30 PM.

Showered and shaved.

Crisp fresh air through an open window.

Deep blue sky, not a cloud in sight.

Quiet.

Still.

Decided to grab a bite,

on the bay, at Hot Dog Row.

Car radio blared.

But, no music played.

Only garbled speech.

A tower? A tunnel? Firemen?

I don’t yet hear.

Empty parking lots.

Where are the people?

Something’s wrong... very very wrong.

Turn back for home.

Flip on the TV.

5:00 PM.

OMG! OMG! OMG!

September 11, 2001.

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2009-09-04T20:49:00.002-05:00

It's been a long day

3 people got let go in my department. I managed to dodge the bullet. It wasn't too bad since all 3 wanted to leave. Anyhow, I went out to the Pelican this evening to celebrate. Got myself a bit tanked. Errrp...

Summer is going out with a blast here. Gonna be sunny weather for the entire Labor Day weekend!I'm gonna get one of those backyard fireplace hearths. Stink up the neighborhood. Well, it's only because everyone else seems to be doing it. Can't beat 'em, then join 'em.

I need to ask, is this blog meaningful enough to continue? Does it help anyone?

Gotta jet, cya!

2009-09-02T19:46:00.002-05:00

Layoffs

Coming on Friday. Gotta watch out. Sometimes somebody doesn't like you, that's it, you're gone. Not fair, I know. But I have been on the short end several times. Last time I got tapped, I exited the backdoor. Didn't want to see the ones who 'kiss up' to management, keeping their jobs. It would have pissed me off big time.

The odds of a person with a disability finding a new job are bleak. Took me 5 months to find this job, at considerably less pay, too. It would be good to find a new employer, but right now there is nothing available.

So... Friday is 'Axe Day.'

My joke of the week. I think this one been posted before, but it's a good 'un!

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, "Jesus is watching."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaking out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

2009-08-27T21:00:00.003-05:00

Ah-Ah-Achoo!

If you wake up looking like this,

don't go to work!!!

2009-08-24T19:25:00.003-05:00

SuperSTARS!!!

Everyone had to be in the right place at precisely the right time. I'll repost the story followed by an update.

Some background, Shawnya is my nephew's wife, 2 young kids of their own. I've only met her a few times. This email really floored me!

Friday's email:

Seems Shawnya was driving home Wednesday and came across a woman along the road covered in blood and screaming. She had hydroplaned, jumped a guard rail, and her car was underwater in the river with her 5 year old in his car seat. The car was about 8 feet down. Shawnya could reach the car but couldn’t release the seat belt latch. The husband/father came upon the scene and together, they released the kid. He didn’t have a pulse and wasn’t breathing when they brought him up. A fireman happened upon the scene and performed CPR on the boy until EMTs arrived. He had a pulse and was trying to breathe on his own when they took him to a local hospital. He was later taken by helicopter to the Mayo Clinic. Shawnya talked to the father Thursday. The boy was not conscious (sounded like an artificial coma) but responded to pain stimulus so the doctor expected to try to wake him later in the day. The doctor was cautiously optimistic that the kid may not have brain damage from lack of oxygen. He had no other injuries. We’re pretty proud of Shawnya for literally jumping right in to save the boy!

Monday's email (the update):

Shawnya learned that they woke the kid from the induced coma and that he's fine. No brain damage. He's pretty lucky.

Me again. My nephew married a superstar!!!

2009-08-21T19:31:00.002-05:00

I am just floored tonight.

Unbelievable!!!

You think you know a person, but then you find out, you really don't know that person. At least, you don't know what that person is capable of doing. The following email dropped into my inbox this morning. Some background, Shawnya is my nephew's wife. I've only met her a few times because they live so far away. Here goes:

Seems Shawnya was driving home Wednesday and came across a woman along the road covered in blood and screaming. She had hydroplaned, jumped a guard rail, and her car was underwater in the river with her 5 year old in his car seat. The car was about 8 feet down. Shawnya could reach the car but couldn’t release the seat belt latch. The husband/father came upon the scene and together, they released the kid. He didn’t have a pulse and wasn’t breathing when they brought him up. A fireman happened upon the scene and performed CPR on the boy until EMTs arrived. He had a pulse and was trying to breathe on his own when they took him to a local hospital. He was later taken by helicopter to the Mayo Clinic. Shawnya talked to the father Thursday. The boy was not conscious (sounded like an artificial coma) but responded to pain stimulus so the doctor expected to try to wake him later in the day. The doctor was cautiously optimistic that the kid may not have brain damage from lack of oxygen. He had no other injuries. We’re pretty proud of Shawnya for literally jumping right in to save the boy!

One of the most difficult things to do in an emergency is to think reasonable, and then respond.

I hope this story has a happy ending. I will post when news arrives.

Regardless, hats off to Shawnya!!!

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2009-08-10T21:43:00.003-05:00

The WNY region had storms rolling through every few hours last evening. One storm was said to belt the region with 1000 bolts of lightening in one hour. Well if you are a hearing aid user, you get a crackle in your aid a split second before the close ones strike. Was like the Fourth of July!!!

Crazy weather here! Tornados again, too!

I can't afford a real vacation, but what da hey, we have a lake, the bay, beach, amusement park, hiking trails, and a zoo; all in this town. All I need to do is pitch a tent in the backyard!

Here are some summer activity pics, all up at the port:

Beach wrestling. Its sort of a combination Greco and Sumo style.

Gotta love the Mohawk!!!

Can't leave without a joke:

GOTTA PEE

Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bicardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to Pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said: "These girl nights have got to stop! I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!!"

"That's nothing" said the other husband, "Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said:

' From all of us at the Fire Station. We will never forget you. '

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The Doppler Effect?

2009-07-29T21:12:00.001-05:00

I awoke from a nap Saturday evening. The local fire siren was howling, so I turned on the TV to see if something was up. All of the local channels were broadcasting 'live breaking news' for possible flooding and tornados. Weathermen with their geeky storm tracking weather gadgets.

Well, tornados are quite rare here. The last one sighted in my county was 1981. Turns out there were 4 twisters over the weekend in WNY.

Here's what bugs me, there was NO closed-captioning on any of the live broadcasts. One TV station put up photos of funnel clouds, but I could not hear where it was located. It took me some 20 minutes to find out where the tornados were actually sighted. One was about 5 miles from my home.

TV stations often put up a warning crawl along the bottom of the screen. A message to the affect of 'Flash flood warning for the County of Monroe until 9PM."

But if they deem it necessary to broadcast details LIVE, with the intention of preventing injuries and loss of life, then why omit closed-captioning, excluding all of those important details from the 'hearing loss' community? Doppler radar indicated all portions of the storms showed wind rotations. Stay away from windows. These are facts I didn't hear until much later in the broadcast.

Let us suppose it was some other type of emergency, such as a nuclear plant accident, or a chemical spill, or a terrorist attack; would the TV stations forgo closed-captioning, leaving the hearing loss community uninformed?

Some day in the future I hope we really are equal.

Until then we will just have to dodge the tornados.

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Weeds

2009-07-12T19:31:00.001-05:00

On Friday, a couple I work with invited me over for a small dinner party this weekend, for Sunday. All Saturday I was tied-in-knots worried about accepting the invitation. These parties usually go very bad for me. The background noises often wipe out any gain from hearing-aids; music, others talking, dinnerware clattering, dogs barking, that kind of interference.

I really really didn't want to go, and was mentally kicking myself for accepting.

Well, dinner was outside in the backyard with no walls, nor hardwood floors to echo the conversations. That acoustic freedom gave me an opportunity to flip onto a bi-cross straight-ahead listening mode on my hearing-aids.

The host has a pond with a waterfalls. But seated at the table, it was behind me, so I could just flip the rear mic off.

Disaster averted!

I worry too much; credit the stigma of hearing loss. Once you allow those fears of embarrassment and failure to crowd your psych, it's hard to weed 'em out.

Joke time:

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale'. He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.

The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

'You talk?' he asks.

'Yep,' the Lab replies.

After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'

The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'

'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medal."

'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

'Ten dollars,' the guy says.

'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'

"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that s**t.

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Lost, but found?

2009-07-03T23:09:00.001-05:00

It’s no secret, my hearing loss can be lonely, very very lonely. Spending this 4th of July weekend by myself is actually the norm for me. I don’t really like it, but I’ve come to expect it after many years of social frustration.

Is the isolation self-imposed?

No, not really.

In social situations, like parties, if I cannot get friends to help me hear, than too much of the conversation is lost. The frustration builds until I lose it emotional, then seek escape from the crushing reality that...

...I don’t neatly fit into the ‘hearing world.’

What makes it worse... is that I don’t fit into the ‘deaf world’ either. I’m stuck somewhere in the middle, alone, by myself. Unless you’ve personally experienced this emotional ‘twilight zone’ , you won’t understand it.

I am going to continue the fight though, the battle to overcome the odds. I’m not sure why. It’s just my nature, I guess.

Over the summer, I am going to post some short stories, a peek into my past. And come this autumn I will attempt to change this isolation.

Hang tough!

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Fifth wheel sucks

2009-06-19T21:15:00.001-05:00

Co-workers tend to push me aside whenever a crisis pops up like today.

I was working on a 'print-on-demand' marketing job, a training workbook for a high-profile client, when we ran into difficulty installing the wire binder for the book. I got pushed aside and no one even considered consulting me about the problem.

They make me feel like I don't measure up. This useless 'fifth wheel' attitude sinks in, wiping out any positive vibes I might have. At that point, my day is finished. I become mentally frustrated, wanting only to escape from reality.

I don't really know how to verbalize how much it hurts me, so I never discuss it with my co-workers.

Days like today make me wonder why I keep living like this.

No jokes today... sorry.

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Emo days?

2009-06-11T20:33:00.001-05:00

There was a time I would conceal my hearing aids with long mopish(is that a word?) hair. As a teen, it wasn't hip to be hearing impaired. But the thick mophead couldn't disguise my poor speech habits. In the long run, long locks kinda made me look stupid, since some people didn't realize I used hearing aids, or had a hearing loss. The ignorant people tend to equate hearing loss as dimwit. I've lost count how many times I've proved that equation wrong.

Besides, most ignorants don't know we with hearing loss have mystical powers. Yup, that's right, we're all mystics. We interpret the world 'in motion' , not in 'still frames.' But that's another blog, for another time.

Today's good news, my blood pressure is back to normal. So, no meds needed for that. Cholesterol was down 35 points from 6 months ago! The doc was really impressed. And me, the entire day I was afraid my jittery nerves would jack up the blood pressure test during the office visit. No more caffeine. Mountain Dew, goodbye!

Joke time:

A young boy had just gotten his driver's permit and inquired of his father if they could discuss his use of the car. His father said he'd make a deal with his son.

"You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, get your hair cut and we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, I've been real proud. You've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm real disappointed you haven't gotten your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair and there is even a strong argument that Jesus had long hair."

And his father replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

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2009-06-03T19:25:00.006-05:00

One Step at a Time

Where have I been? A routine physical turned up high blood pressure. So, I've been given some time to get it lower or start taking meds for it. I've instituted the "1000 steps" program. One thousand steps on my stair-climber, first thing out of bed every morning. Btw, I am NOT a morning person, so this be one very big change.

I take a 2 mile walk here, along the lakefront. I have also sacrificed Mtn Dew. No more soda, no more caffeine!

Meanwhile, this year the airshow was held on the lakefront. This is the Canadien Snowbirds in the foto. For a small digital cam, it's a pretty good shot.

Need a laugh? I do!!! This weeks funnies:

Cancel your credit card before you die...(hilarious!)

Now some people are really stupid!!!
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.

This is so priceless, and so so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.

The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now was somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died back in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you will have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.." (so if you have a $0 balance how can they charge a late fee & charges?)

Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"

Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info was given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number was given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: "Our system just isn't set up for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you can figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges will still apply."
(What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help..."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."

Citibank: "Sir, that is a cemetery!"
Family Member: "And what do you do with dead people on your planet???"

(Priceless!!!) You wonder why Citi is going broke and needs the feds to bail them out!!!

2009-05-20T20:41:00.004-05:00

This Gallaudet hearing loss mentoring program got my interest. It is something I would like to learn and do in the near future. I don't really know much about the program yet. For instance, has there been a need for mentors? How do audiologist feel about supporting, and making their patients aware of this type of help?

I remember how difficult it was as a youngster. I never had any friends who were hearing impaired. Not knowing how to respond, I accepted a lot of the 'bad stuff ' as tough luck. Then there was the never-ending isolation, even when surrounded by people. My coping strategies became a sense of humor and exercise. Sports was a good way to reduce the barriers, relying on my physical finesse.

Hearing loss is 24/7. It never stops. Even while sleeping at night. Was that a noise? I've gotta get out of bed to check all the doors and windows. It's never anything.

All day long, I can be at a heightened alert, anticipating the next sound, the next voice. The stress from this is off the chart, way way off!

One of my coping methods is to take a long walk or hike by myself. Since there is no conversations, I can let my guard down. Also, on Sundays, I go as long as I can minus my hearing-aids. This be my way of identifying with who I really am, a person with hearing loss. It gives me a sense of freedom.

This weeks joke:

Confucius Say:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run in
Front
of car get tired.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who run behind
Car get
exhausted.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man with one
Chopstick go hungry.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who scratch ass
Should not bite
fingernails.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who eat many
Prunes get good
run for money.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Baseball is wrong:
Man with
four balls cannot walk..
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
War does not Determine who is right,
war determine who is left.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Wife who put Husband in doghouse
soon find him in cathouse.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who fight with Wife all day
get no piece
at night.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
It take many nails to build crib,
but one
screw to fill it.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who drive like Hell,

bound to get there.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who live in Glass
house
should change clothes in basement.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Man who
fish in other man's well
often catch crabs.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

May's foto blog:

The HatchBatch

Swan Pond

Cya!!!

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Your Disabled Human Value?

2009-05-13T19:48:00.001-05:00

Can one be less human as a result of a disability?

I came across this article on the Hearing Loss Help website:

Hearing disability only comes about when society fails to meet our needs and thus handicaps us so it is difficult for us to compete fairly in a hearing society. In a nutshell, hearing disability is how society views our "worth." Do you want to know how much you are worth as a hard of hearing person in our society?

The article notes that a formula is used as a basis for compensation awards, as it measures ones degree of disability as a result of ones hearing loss. You will need your latest audiogram to determine your own value.

Referenced from the same article:

Step1

Determine your average hearing loss in decibels for each ear using these four frequencies-500 Hz, 1,000 Hz, 2,000 Hz and 3,000 Hz. (Note: if your hearing at any of these frequencies is better than 0 dB, use 0 dB and if your hearing is worse than 100 dB, use 100 dB.) There is an example so you can see how it is done. Follow along using your own figures.

You'll find the hearing loss for your right ear marked on your audiogram with red circles and your left ear marked with blue Xs. (Ignore any other marks such as red triangles, blue squares or angle brackets like < or >.)

Frequency Right ear / Left ear

500 Hz 65 / 65
1,000 Hz 75 / 75
2,000 Hz 65 / 70
3,000 Hz 60 / 65

Add the figures up for each ear and divide by 4 to get the average. (Round your answer to the nearest whole number.)

65 + 75 + 65 + 60 = 265/4 = 66 average dB loss in right ear.

65 + 75 + 70 + 65 = 275/4 = 69 average dB loss in left ear.

Step 2

Calculate the degree of impairment for each ear. The assumption is that a hearing handicap doesn't begin until you have at least a 25 dB loss. The handicap then increases by 1.5% for each dB loss above 25 dB. To determine this, take the average you calculated in Step 1 and subtract 25 from it. If the answer is greater than zero, multiply the result by 1.5. Do this for each ear. (If your loss in both ears is less than or equal to 25 dB you don't have any hearing handicap according to the AAO.)

Right ear: 66 - 25 = 41 x 1.5 = 61.5% handicap

Left ear: 69 - 25 =44 x 1.5 = 66% handicap

Step 3

In this step, you apply a 5 to 1 weight favoring your better ear, then you combine the results to obtain the final figure. (If your better ear has a hearing loss of 25 dB loss or less, and your worse ear is greater than 25 dB, simply take the result of your worse ear and divide it by 6 to get the final answer [and skip the next paragraph].)

To calculate your hearing disability, take the smaller figure from Step 2 (your better ear) and multiply it by 5. Add this to the figure of your worse ear from Step 2. Add these two numbers together and divide the result by 6. That is your hearing handicap as a percentage.

Better ear 61.5 x 5 = 307.5

Add together 307.5 + 66 = 373.5

Divide by 6 373.5/6 = 62%

My own numbers are rather poor:

Step1: Left - 100+85+100+100=385/4=96.25
Right - 40+60+75+90=265/4=66.25

Step2: Left - 96-25=71x1.5=106.5%
Right - 66-25=41x1.5=61.5%

Step3 - 61.5x5=307.5+106.5=414/6=69%

Thus my expected earning capacity would fall 69% below a 'normal' persons earnings. And my value to society is only 31% compared to a 'normal' hearing person.

Well, to me these figures are BULL. What was Beethoven's worth to society? What was Helen Keller's worth to society?

I have to wonder, if in the eyes of the government I am so poor off, why don't they help more? It's not like I need a bailout of x billion dollars. I'm definitely underpaid and underemployed. I'm actually performing some duties of a supervisor who was fired. My boss is embarrassed by my low pay, which, unfortunately he can do nothing.

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